P and K

Real Kids

2011-11-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

While listening to the Forrest Gump Suite:

DK: This song is nice and quiet and peaceful.

KK: Yeah, I like it. Does it make you feel quiet and peaceful?

DK: No Mom. I'm a real kid.

Sad Things

2011-11-26T10:48:00.002-05:00

Overheard while the grandparents were in town:

Babci: It's time to go inside.

DK: I don't want to. It makes me sad to go inside.

Babci: There are a lot of things in life we have to do that make us sad.

DK: Yeah. Like taking back library books.

Des and Vovô going outside.

Note: "Babci" means grandmother in Polish, "Vovô" is grandfather in Portuguese. It's what Desmond calls Peter's folks.

A Mighty Fortress

2011-11-20T10:21:00.000-05:00

We bought a new dresser for Charlotte's room. The delivery men left the box. Box + 3 year old = lots o' fun. Peter and Des made a pretty cool multi-part fort that wraps around the sofa, complete with multiple look-outs, windows, skylights and doors.

Of course, not everything comes natural to all kids. Once inside Desmond said, "This is AWESOME.....uh, now what do I do in here?"

Week in Photos

2011-11-17T10:01:00.004-05:00

Musical Expression

2011-11-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

Desmond is in love with listening music. More or less than most kids, I don't know. It's been a fun development over the past few months. When he hears a song he likes, we let him add it to "Desmond's Playlist." It's not kids' music either - country, rap, soundtracks, indie, religious, classical all make the cut.

Nothing related to music....I just never posted a Halloween photo.

Some of the fascinating aspects of this:

Emotional expression - He notices that songs have different feelings associated with them. The idea that Peter and I may think a song has a different feeling (hopeful vs. melancholy) blew his mind. It's fun to try to teach that people interpret art differently and that's part of its beauty. I've also been challenged to expand my own emotional vocabulary. Happy and sad just don't cut it. But it's also tough to explain the complexities of bittersweet, resentful, joyous, etc. to a kid. Tough, but fun. Emotional expression is my favorite part of this whole topic.
Musical vocabulary - Des enjoys being able to describe the non-emotive aspects of a song. Words like vocals, lyrics, instrumental, names of instruments, rhythm, etc. I can tell he likes the power of being able to categorize what he is hearing.
Language learning - He can recognize the artist and song title of over 30 songs on his playlist, regardless of the order. I know he isn't "reading" yet and has probably just memorized these details. I do think this is part of a stepping stone in his path to literacy.

And since this blog is partially for Desmond's future keepsake, here are some of the songs currently on his playlist. I think he has pretty good taste. You should check them out!

Montgomery Gentry - Gone

Dierks Bentley - Sideways

K-O's - Crabbuckit

Rusted Root - Send Me On My Way

Natasha Bedingfield - Strip Me

Decemberists - Sons and Daughters

Kanye West - Jesus Walks

Celtic Worship - Be Thou My Vision

Keith Green - Holy, Holy, Holy

Forrest Gump Suite

Ennio Moricone - Songs from "The Mission"

Eddie From Ohio - Number Six Driver

Slow Club - Christmas TV

Lady Gaga - Alejandro, Poker Face, Just Dance

Beyonce - If I Were a Boy, Halo, Single Ladies

Natalie Walker - Colorblind

Rockabye Baby - Just Breathe

Charlotte Fern

2011-11-09T15:50:00.008-05:00

It happened! Charlotte Fern Kraft arrived into the world on November 4th, 2011 at 9:13am weighing 8lbs 5oz at 20.75 inches long.

I'm not even sure where to begin with my thoughts about this little girl. Having Desmond has taught me how to love babies. Loving him and watching him grow into a fantastic three year old somehow makes me love baby Charlotte all the more. It's easier for me to slow down and just enjoy holding her, marveling that just a few days ago she was "alive" inside of me.

After Desmond's one week stay in the NICU, it was sheer joy to cuddle Charlotte while in the hospital. Once again, the staff at INOVA Fairfax hospital gave us excellent care. They seem to really enjoy their jobs and do them well. Peter and I both found inspiration in their excellence.

Desmond has been excited and kind to his little sister so far.
He speaks to her in the sweetest voice. It brings tears to my eyes.

So we have a newborn. Wow. I have no clue how anything will ever get done without family around to help. I see other families do it, but cannot fathom how it will ever happen here again. But as Scarlett O'Hara said, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

For those of you who didn't learn about this via email, Peter issued the geek challenge (see below) to figure out Charlotte's details. Carl M. won the bitcoin prize by submitting the first correct answer. He has generously donated his bitcoin to Charlotte's college fund. :-)

-------------- The Peter Challenge --------------

Now for the geeky part.  The reward for the first correct answer is 1 bitcoin.

Birth time = base64 decode the following: OToxMyBBTSAtIE5vdmVtYmVyIDR0aCwgMjAxMQo=

Birth weight = A xor B, where...

A = Charlotte Fern Kraft - (A is a byte stream represented by 8-bit padded ASCII, trimmed whitespace)

B = e0gRHRkBEAdLDmhFR05PPhwCAwc= - (B is a byte stream represented by base64 encoded data)

Aunt Meg and Uncle Ryan

2011-10-31T08:12:00.001-04:00

Aunt Meg and Uncle Ryan came to visit a couple of weeks ago. Besides from being incredibly useful to the adults (mopping, painting, etc.), they also lavished the love on Desmond.

It's fun watching Desmond's sense of humor develop. He made "jokes" all weekend about "Aunt Meggie-poo" or "Uncle Rynee-poo." He also started picking up on when other people were making jokes more quickly than he used to. All in all, it was a really fun weekend together.

Sword fighting.

Angry Birds meets real-life.

Fun at the playground.

Gussied up for a baby luncheon at Sweetwater.

Cutie

2011-10-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Just a few more days left of our mom-dad-Desmond trio.

Fall Leaves

2011-10-27T16:45:00.001-04:00

No autumn would be complete without some leaf jumping.

Aunt Katie

2011-10-04T09:04:00.002-04:00

Aunt Katie stayed with us for a while a couple of months ago as she worked on getting all the appropriate visas for her far-flung life. (Seriously, she will kick your butt at the Sporcle country quiz.)

One of the most fun parts of her stay (other than having someone to do all the bending involved in unloading the dishwasher - THANK YOU!) was watching her and Desmond hang out. Katie reintroduced the love of a dance party into our lives. She played endless games, read endless books (especially Frieght Train), and let Desmond hover as she developed her new blog , CulturTwined, and did other "boring" computer work. (Although now he will ask, "Can I pleeeease help do some boring work on the computer?")

I've come to realize that whether our family is physically near or far, our lives don't often afford us a chance to just live life with one another. It makes me cherish these moments all the more when Desmond (and soon-to-be little sister) get to see family.

A Confession

2011-10-01T08:57:00.001-04:00

I've been hiding something from you. For the past three months, Desmond and my average wake-up time has been around 8:15am. I didn't sleep that late when I was a "working" woman! It started somewhere in July. Usually I would adjust our schedule and try to get him back up on a 7:30-ish wake-up time. (It makes the day flow a little easier.) But then I started thinking...

In ~~three or four months~~ now five weeks I will have a NEWBORN. I will not sleep well for a year. I will be so sleep deprived that when I do actually sleep, it will be so deeply and desparately that I might dislocate my shoulder. (This actually happened when Des was a baby.) Neither riches nor chocolates will compete with the thought of a full night's sleep.

I would be insane to willingly give up sleep now, just for the convenience of some self-imposed schedule. As the discomforts of third trimester pregnancy try to rob me of precious sleep, I am zealously embracing my late wake-ups and secretly wondering if Desmond's natural inclination to sleep late seals his fate to be an engineer. And parents of newborns, don't hate me. I'll be joining you soon.

Collar vs. Collared

2011-09-28T08:00:00.000-04:00

As Peter was getting ready for work...

PK: OK Des, I have to put on a collared shirt.

DK: Oh! Then you'll be a dog!

Turning Three

2011-09-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

Desmond turned three on September 8th. We combined a cook-out with some neighbors with a birthday party for him. Since he doesn't like cake, I made a donut tower instead. Then on his proper birthday Grandma came up (it was her birthday too!) and we celebrated again. I underestimated how much fun it would be watching him enjoy being "special." I was also really touched to see how excited he was that it was Grandma's birthday, not just his own.

I can't believe we've been parents for three years now. Life as a parent is so much more satisfying and fulfilling than I imagined. I'm really grateful for my family.

Our Canary

2011-09-24T08:57:00.001-04:00

It's no secret that Peter and I have some fundamental, philisophical disagreements about air conditioning. Without going into many details, I will say while Peter doesn't mind the heat, he detests the humidity. Have I reminded you recently that we live in the Washington DC area? Humidity? It's not the Amazon, but sometimes I think it comes close.

Well, we've finally discovered our canary in the mine. If your cough drops start dissolving, you probably ought to turn on the AC.

Exulated

2011-09-23T08:51:00.001-04:00

At dinner Peter was explaining to Desmond how he makes coffee at work. Desmond thought "mug" was a really funny word and didn't know what it was. We got out a glass and a mug and began comparing the two.

PK: And sometimes a mug is insulated.

DK: Then a glass is EXulated!

Not quite, but points for creativity.

Rough housing

2011-09-07T08:30:00.000-04:00

I've definitely hit a wall in terms of my mobility and energy this pregnancy. It's difficult to make myself rest instead of getting things done during Des' naptime. Now I'm earnestly on the hunt for fun activities for Des that require little from me.

All of this makes me extra grateful for Peter. He and Desmond have been getting closer lately, partially because Dad plays with him a lot more vigorously than I do. Des is learning the joy of rough housing, although he still does it best with adults who know when to stop. :-)

A photo series of one of their many games:

Good Reads

2011-09-05T08:30:00.001-04:00

Do you use Good Reads? It's a social networking site that allows you to rate and comment on books you've read and then see what your friends are reading as well.

I've been on Good Reads for a while now and really enjoy the suggestions and comments my friends have on books they're reading. If you haven't signed up, I'd encourage you to consider it. (It hooks up with Facebook, in case that's a selling point for you.) Don't forget to find me on there!

Potty Talk

2011-09-03T08:30:00.001-04:00

Desmond is pretty much toilet trained now. I usually avoid potty talk around non-parents, but some of the things he's said along the way can't be kept to myself.

About two weeks into the whole process, he got very picky about how we celebrated his success in the #2 department.

DK: (stern voice) Mom, you may not cheer for me. But I will take the juice box.

(Seriously?!?! Why not just leave for college now!!)

Overheard after another successful #2 episode:

DK: That's hilarious! Gravity pulled it [the poop] down.

Pivotal Moments

2011-09-01T09:25:00.000-04:00

Today we went to the library. Desmond has a few favorite books he likes to habitually check out. Today, Freight Train, by Donald Crews was on his mind.

Wanting to encourage him to explore first, I convinced Desmond to find some other books for us to read before we found Freight Train. As we read a different book, Des looked up and an expression of sheer panic seized him. Another family had chosen Freight Train and was reading it at a nearby table.

I explained they might end up taking the book home with them. He might not get to check-out Freight Train this time. "We were here first," he said with a quivering voice. True, I replied, but they got to the book before we did.

His lip trembled. His wide eyes filled with tears. He looked personally affronted. The next three minutes were character shaping.

I expected a tantrum. I expected him to forcibly take the book away. Instead, Des collected himself and we finished reading the other book. He asked if we could look for another copy of Freight Train. We did and found none. He stared at the other child longingly - dejection written all over his face. No tantrum. No show of force.

As it turns out, there was a special display of Donald Crews books that day (explaining why it wasn't on the shelf). There were THREE more copies of Freight Train, much to Desmond's delight.

Three minutes is an eternity for a 3 year old. I think it took the self-control equivalent of an Olympic athlete for Desmond to respond the way he did. I am so proud of my son.

Slick

2011-08-29T08:30:00.001-04:00

Des emerged from the bathroom one morning having done his own hair. I think I have some job security as his mom for a while longer.

Late Night Conversations

2011-08-27T08:30:00.000-04:00

I think we've hit a point where Desmond has probably said some pretty embarrassing stuff to adults when we're not around. For example, at the breakfast table one morning.

DK: Mom, why did dad knock you up and get you pregnant?

(I shoot a questioning look at Peter)

PK: Uh....boys talk about stuff late at night...

Peter's comment to me later was, "Well, I like to tell him stuff that will be just embarrassing enough..." Hmph.

Playing Catch

2011-08-25T08:30:00.001-04:00

My recent lunch conversation with Desmond.

DK: Mom, are you still pregnant?

KK: Yep, baby sister is still growing in my tummy. (pause) Well, technically she is in my uterus, which is right below my stomach. (pointing to each)

I continue eating. After each of my bites, Desmond giggles.

KK: Why are you giggling?

DK: Cause baby sister is catching all of your food!

Defiling Geometry

2011-08-23T08:30:00.000-04:00

DK: Dad, I really want to play Wii today.
PK: Sure. Do you want to play Geometry Wars or Donkey Kong?
DK: Geometry Whores please. It's my favorite.

Too Many Family Injuries?

2011-08-11T08:28:00.000-04:00

DK: Dad, what do you think of me?
PK: I think you're swell.
DK: Oh no Dad, that only happens when you're injured.

The Fourth 2011

2011-08-09T08:30:00.001-04:00

On the 4th of July we went to the Fairfax County celebrations with our friends Jason and Ashley Head and their two boys who are just older and younger than Desmond. It was fun to watch kids playing happily together.

Ashley snapped a few pictures of Desmond during the day. She is starting a freelance photography business if anyone is interested. Check her work out at www.ashleyevelynphotography.com.

Shoo Fly

2011-08-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

This one took me a while....

At the family reunion Desmond was delightedly scaring the flies away from the food. He kept saying "Shoo fly, shoo. Do what you are."

Family Reunion

2011-08-05T08:08:00.004-04:00

We attended the Bailes Family Reunion (my mom's family) this past weekend at Hawks Nest State Park in West Virginia. I'm a Western NC girl myself, but I must say West Virginia is gorgeous.

The weekend was a bit of a bummer. Desmond got sick with some virus (and now has a lower respiratory infection). Peter came down with a vertigo-illness that we are still sorting out. Despite the sick boys, we still enjoyed seeing family.

A fun discovery on the trip is that Desmond enjoys books on tape. (No surprise there.) We listened to Charlotte's Web for part of the trip and I enjoyed it as much as Desmond!

The New River Gorge Bridge. Breath taking.

It's the third largest arch bridge in the world.

Sparing his pregnant wife, Peter carried Des up many, many stairs despite his vertigo.

Desmond loved his ~~bed~~ "nest" and spent most evenings "chirping" all his sentences before bed.

Feigned Altruism

2011-08-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Ever since Des learned Target sells those kids reading computers, he can't go often enough...

DK: There is a baby in my uterus and I need to go to Target to buy it a present.

Mystery of Life

2011-07-28T08:00:00.002-04:00

KK: Your new baby sister is hiding in my tummy.

DK: Please spit her out!

**thoughtful pause**

DK: Well, then I have a baby in my pocket.

Not Playing with Fire

2011-07-26T08:00:00.001-04:00

DK: Thank you Jesus for all the matches I don't play with.

Moving on Up

2011-07-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

Back in May Desmond moved into his new room. He is using the bunk beds that Peter slept in during the Baltimore years of his childhood. He transitioned really well into his new room and "big boy bed." I'm glad Peter talked me into waiting eight more months; I think the extra age made things a lot easier.

Dexter

2011-07-22T08:00:00.001-04:00

Really, Peter is the only Dexter fan in the house....

Obey Your Muver

2011-07-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

DK: Mom, I'll drive us to church today.

KK: Oh you can't drive until you're 16 years old. That's a long time away. You're only 2 and a half.

DK: (solemnly) And two year olds must obey their muvers. (mothers)

Brace Yourself

2011-07-18T08:00:00.000-04:00

In January Peter tore his ACL saving a small child from a being hit by a car.....or making a totally non-heroic basketball move.

In April he had surgery. If you live in DC and need knee surgery, Dr. Chris Annunziata is your man. Seriously. The Redskins and DC United use him. Not sure why he still works on mere mortals, but he does.

Anyway, a couple of months after the surgery....

DK: Thank you Jesus for my knee that bends.

Anytime Des sees someone on crutches with a leg injury, he makes up a long story about how they hurt their knee playing basketball. :-)

Little Napoleon

2011-07-16T08:00:00.001-04:00

DK: Dear Jesus, thank you for technology, passwords, Firefox, pictures and.....balls to play with.

Precious

2011-07-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

DK: Dad, you're precious. You let me play with your phone.

Nuggets

2011-07-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

DK: We get chicken nuggets at McDonalds AND Chick-fil-A

KK: True. I prefer to eat Chick-fil-A though.

DK: Mooooom, you can't eat Chick-fil-A. It's a restaurant!

Mouth Watering

2011-07-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

DK: Mom, a fountain of spit just came out of my mouth.

KK: Yep. That's called drool.

DK: Cool, can I do it again?!

Inside Voices

2011-07-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

Desmond is at the stage where he says all kinds of funny stuff that I'll be sharing over the next few weeks.

KK: Would you prefer we read to ourselves, or that I read out loud to you?

DK: Oh Mommy, don't read loud inside. You can read out quiet to me.

Cuteness

2010-12-03T14:28:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I forget to record some of Des' cuteness....

This morning he ran around asking to listen to "Alejandro." When it played on the radio, Peter and Des had their own dance party. Score one for you, Lady Gaga.
Des stared intently at the Christmas tree we just put up. When asked what he was doing he replied, "Practicing my sneer." We must be reading How the Grinch Stole Christmas too much.
Trying to distract Des from a tearful fit I said, "Desmond, look there are tears coming out of your tear ducts." He stopped crying, seriously looked at me and said "Do they say 'quack, quack?' "
He has discovered lollipops. Today Des said, "This is the most beautiful lollipop Des has ever licked."

And by far the funniest (to me, at least):

At the library's used book sale I bought The Magic School Bus Lost in the Solar System. Des really loves it and talks about the planets a lot. As I sat on the toilet one day, he wanders in and asks, "Mom, what color is Uranus?" After a moment of shock I answered, "Blue-green."

Our Ultimate Weekends

2010-11-14T07:33:00.000-05:00

Our fall Ultimate Frisbee season ended this weekend with our team finishings 3rd out of 17 teams. Each spring and fall for two months Peter and I sound like broken records when people ask about our weekend plans. "We've got a Frisbee game."

There are few things we enjoy doing together more than playing Ultimate. So we've kept playing since Des was born; he accompanies us to most games. While it's stressful at times to bring him with us, I like the fact that it's a family event and that we all spend several hours outside together. It is tremendously helpful that our teammates are kind and generous in helping us watch Desmond while we play.

I don't usually take photos at the games because it's too difficult to watch two precious items at once - Des and the camera. But we got a sitter for one day of our tournament last weekend, so I was able to snap a few shots.

Aw yeah, my man has some moves.

And he can play D too.

I like the runners' legs.

Frisbee love.

Halloween 2010

2010-11-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

We drove back from the beach on Halloween. While I had a hand-me-down ninja/karate costume on stand-by, I wasn't sure we'd trick-or-treat after just arriving home. But at the 11th hour we changed our minds and decided to take Des out.

In a span of 30 minutes, we went from unpacking the car to hyping up being a ninja, practicing "Trick or treat please," and doing "the moves" as Des calls them (ninja moves, that is). The world must be so fun and strange to toddlers.

Practicing "the moves."

Beach Week

2010-11-10T13:58:00.003-05:00

At the end of October we spent almost a week with Grandpa and Gran at the Outer Banks near Cape Hatteras. It was Peter's dream vacation - laid back and restful. I enjoyed hanging out with family (Aunt Meg and Ryan came too) and seeing Desmond enjoy the beach. I also learned that 30 minutes of running barefoot in the sand is like 1 hour of running + lower body weight lifting. Amazing.

There wasn't a part of the beach Desmond didn't like. The sand, lighthouses, crabs, kites, family to adore him, a wagon - the list goes on and on. A day hasn't gone by that he hasn't either asked to go back or talked about seeing Cape Hatteras lighthouse.

Katharine putting on a brave front in the face of an angry ghost crab.

Aunt Meg helps Des reflect.

The boys "cheesing" it up for the camera.

Celebrating Gran's birthday.

I've now learned that Desmond truly loves playing in sand. Sand play is so darn good (but sooo messy!) for kids, I guess I'll break down and indulge it more.

Simple Love

2010-10-21T13:15:00.003-04:00

Sometimes love comes from the simplest places.

Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. I told Desmond, "Mommy is a little sad right now." He gave me a hug, found a framed photo of Peter and handed it to me saying, "Des will make Mommy happy."

Something Beautiful

2010-10-08T08:24:00.006-04:00

As Desmond and I were talking a walk through the forest near our house, he said, "Des want to scare some beautiful things." While I don't think these words mean what he thinks they mean, I'm still excited he's only two and already almost-quoting Fight Club. ("I felt like destroying something beautiful.")

He could improve on his selection. I'd prefer....

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. "

"I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection."

"The things you own end up owning you."

"Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!"

But there's time still.

Grief

2010-10-06T13:50:00.003-04:00

Previously I mentioned September had its moments of sadness. To be more specific, I had my second consecutive miscarriage two weeks ago. I was 7 weeks pregnant.

Originally I wasn't going to blog about this. It's so personal. The blog is so....well, public. I was swayed as I reflected on how often miscarriages happen versus how frequently we talk about it. The stats vary dramatically, but conservative estimates say 1 out of every 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. While I don't want to be a fear-monger, it's a stat worth knowing.

Once you've had one, fellow miscarriers pour out of the woodworks with sympathy, stories of hope and of grief. Now I'm part of those numbers. I wouldn't want someone to feel alone in their own miscarriage.

The other reason I wasn't intending to blog about this is because of the question I dread. "How are you doing?" I have no clue how to answer this. I had a miscarriage. It was pretty miserable. I was quite surprised (despite the numbers I just quoted). I was sad. I'm still sad at times. But I'm not overwhelmed by grief. I'm not on the verge of tears...at least not right now. I'm moving on.

I'm realizing I don't know how to grieve very well. I can intellectually tell you a lot of reasons why, in the big picture, life is good. I'm a big picture person. These reasons are very compelling to me. Reconciling the immediate with the long term view of life is difficult for me. It leaves me awkwardly speechless at, "How are you doing?"

So know it's not you, it's me. And as I plough through what grief looks like, I'm gratefully giving Desmond extra hugs and kisses. Thank goodness he's not too cool for them....yet.

Fall Festival

2010-10-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

It is so. much. fun. to enjoy the changing of seasons with a child. I enjoyed them quite a bit on my own, but sharing it with a kid is even better.

So happy.

I knew was fortunate for perfect weather during strawberry picking. Fireworks for the Fourth of July took on a whole new fun with Des around. As fall approaches, I'm gearing up for a whole new season of autumn pleasures. Fall festivals, apple picking, leaf collecting, raking (the leaves that will be picked up by the ground crew anyway...).

This week we went to Cox Farm's Fall Festival. Desmond isn't the most adventuresome kid, but he surprised me by going down HUGE slides by himself, excitedly running off on his own (not ideal), and not getting scared by stuff that normally freaks him out. I'm really enjoying watching him grow up.

That isn't the wind; I just need to get better about combing his hair.

Baby Sophia

2010-09-30T08:00:00.001-04:00

We took a family road trip to Long Island to see Sophia Pirrozi, Peter's cousin's daughter, be baptized. (That makes Sophia is our...second cousin? Something-removed? Help anyone?)

It was fantastically fun as this half-Polish, half-Italian family entertained over 80 people to celebrate. Imagine lots of kielbasa, sauerkraut, eggplant parmesan, chicken marsala, pasta salad, etc.....for about 160 people. People never go hungry in Long Island.

Pete and Stephi have two dogs, which Desmond adored playing with all weekend. He also had a cute Capri-Sun incident during the party. He kept on going up to a tall oak tree and "watering" it with his Capri-Sun, then going inside to get a paper towel to dry the tree off. A cute mixture of processing different ideas (how trees drink, how to clean up a mess, etc.)

Baby Sophia is the namesake of Peter's late grandmother, known to us as Babci.

The fam + godparents, minus Donnie/Jill/Ella.

Steering Uncle Donald's boat.

Our Terrific Two Year Old

2010-09-29T14:22:00.005-04:00

September has been a month of mostly fun times with some sadness woven in. We'll play catch-up on the months events over the next few days.

Desmond turned TWO on September 8th. Each week you can see he is more of a little kid and less of a baby. He runs better, is more adventuresome, more expressive and opinionated. He's starting to try some new foods (thank goodness!!) like carrot sticks, red bell pepper and oatmeal cookies. Des is also throwing more tantrums as he learns how to express his (strong!) emotions. While he usually doesn't care what he wears, lately Des has enjoyed putting on combinations of Des/dad/mom's clothes.

Proudly self-dressed.

For his birthday we had a small "party" with the three of us, then had a playgroup/party that morning. Desmond still doesn't eat cake, so his friends chowed down on carrot cake while he ate some fruit. I tried giving him cake without icing in the shape of a muffin, "birthday muffin," but he was too sly for that. (In fact, that morning he quickly told me, "Des will say 'No thanks' to birthday cake.") Des actually enjoyed opening his presents and having us sing to him. Predictable, yet still amazing, what a difference a year makes. Days later he was still talking about his birthday banner. It's inspiring to see how the small things are so special to kids.

He's still young enough to enjoy unwrapping presents that he saw
in the guest bedroom the day before. Surprise not necessary.

Peter refinished the table that I found at a thrift store.

Grandparents contributed the chairs and other presents.

NC Roadtrip

2010-09-05T09:17:00.004-04:00

Desmond and I took our first road trip together (without Peter) this month to visit some of the grandparents in North Carolina for two weeks.

In Asheville, Grandpa and Gran gave Des a taste of the mountains with a visit to the Nature Center, playing in a creek, visiting a kids' arcade, baking cookies, etc. I also got to see one of my best friends Molly and her family. We even got to have a "grown-up" lunch at Barleys with some downtown shopping! Some of my favorite things from the trip were listening to Des call Gran his "cutie-patootie" and watching Desmond enjoy Grandpa's oatmeal cookies. (Previously, Desmond wouldn't eat cookies!)

After visiting Asheville, we went to Sanford to visit Grandma. Desmond spent time watering Grandma's yard, playing basketball with his new basketball goal, playing on a Sanford train and looking at Grandma's science collection (ex. snake skin, sea shells, crab pinchers, etc.) We also got to visit Aunt Meg's house. I loved watching Grandma realize that she may be retired now, but she'll always have someone to teach science stuff.

Bubble baths in Grandma's jacuzzi tub are unparalleled.

Even I was excited about exploring this decommissioned train.

Playing before having tasty lentil soup at Aunt Meg's house.

Grant (Molly and Furman's son) and Desmond enjoy sprinklers, sand and bubbles.

Gran takes Des to Animal Haven to visit the new lamb.

Oatmeal cookies - Grandpa style!

Jedi Mind Tricks

2010-08-17T20:59:00.002-04:00

Desmond has taken to answering his own questions. He'll make a request, look you right in the eye, then with a serious yet impish look, he will emphatically prompt you with the answer he wants. For instance,

- More blueberries, please? Yes, you may.

- Do you want to listen to Silly Songs? Yes, you want to.

- Should we play with the phone? Yes, sounds good.

I think the Force is strong with this one.

Secret Pleasures

2010-08-12T09:43:00.002-04:00

I've been fighting the greener grass syndrome lately. I actually do enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. As a reminder, did you know that as a stay-at-home mom, you can...

- Eat corn on the cob for lunch. When's the last time you did that on a weekday?

- Watch World Cup soccer games while "on the clock"

- Get a farmer's tan without actually doing the work of a farmer

- Bake pretty much anything you want anytime you want and call it a "teaching experience"

Not a bad life, neh? And that's not even thinking about stuff that's actually significant. :-)

New Wheels

2010-08-06T08:00:00.001-04:00

For those of you who care about my car saga, Charlie, the beloved '92 Subaru Loyale, has kicked the bucket. He's been replaced with an Outback. There's no name yet, but she is a girl.

The Zoo

2010-08-04T15:48:00.003-04:00

It's amazing that elephants live within three miles from the White House.

Aunt Katie, Desmond and I visited the National Zoo this week. Admission is free and we found free 2 hour street parking. Two hours is as much zoo as Des could handle. Pretty cheap and a lot of fun.

As much as I dislike the concept of zoos, I had a good time. It was fun watching Desmond excitedly race around and laugh with glee at the animals. There are some truly fascinating animals on this planet. I felt fortunate to see some of them in person.

Desmond and Tian Tian.

A better view of Tian Tian. Washingtonians are particularly fond of their pandas.
When Tia Shan was returned to China, it headlined the local news.

My favorite moment was at the elephant pen. A particularly playful elephant stopped to pee. Boy did this guy pee; think fire hose strength. Anyway, you could hear a quiet chorus of mothers talking to their toddlers saying things like, "Yes, the elephant is going to the potty. Yes he is doing a good job. Yes, he should get a sticker." We are approaching potty training; I could sympathize.

Thanks for the teaching moment, Mr. Elephant.

In a Pickle

2010-08-01T13:32:00.000-04:00

Last year our neighborhood started a community garden. I enthusiastically signed up for a plot, only to fantastically fail. This year, I set the bar low with two goals - to not kill everything and to harvest at least one item.

It's gone better than I would have asked for. Out of three cucumber plants, I canned 30 jars of pickles! I watched my Memaw and mom can for years. I've never had a big interest in it because I'd have to buy the produce at the store. Having home-grown produce to can has been really exciting.

In addition to cucumbers, we've harvested a few beans and peppers. The tomatoes are arriving. I'll continue dreaming of amazing gardens that some of my friends are impressively growing. But for now I'm satisfied with my modest progress.

Now that the tomatoes are going nuts, I'm making salsa, tomato soup and am going to try slow roasted cherry tomatoes.

Do I dare try growing a fall crop?

Chemicals and the Pits

2010-07-21T08:00:00.001-04:00

Warning - this post might be a little TMI for some. Read on only if you're comfortable with talking about sweating and deodorant.

I've talked before about my pseudo-crunchiness. I think I just got a little crunchier. I'm making (and using!) my own deodorant.

Background: A couple of blogs I read (like Simple Organic and Sorta Crunchy) wrote about it and got me thinking. In general I think it's better to avoid regularly putting chemicals into your body if possible. I sweat a lot (I warned you about the TMI...) and antiperspirants don't really help. So I figured why not give it a shot.

The Plan: I decided to give it a try for a month. I had a couple of faithful, honest friends to give me feedback if I stunk or not. There are a lot of "recipes" out there (like here and here). I chose this one using baking soda, cornstarch mixed with coconut oil. In the future, I might add essential oils in the future for a nice smell. The coconut oil smells pleasantly tropical though.

Execution: Of course, I chose the hottest month of the year to try this. (Just like I chose the coldest winter on record to shave my head.) Adventuresome? Yes. Good sense of timing? No.

I made my mixture and put it into an empty store-bought deodorant container. That way I could apply it just like "normal" deodorant. I wore it everyday for a month, excluding a handful of days (i.e. all day canoe trip, delicate shirt).

Results: Overall, I'm pleased. For normal daily activity with regular showers I didn't smell. The exceptions were days I played sports, but I probably would have stunk anyway. Also, going for more than a day without showering (not unreasonable in an air-conditioned world) didn't work so well.

So I think I'm going to stick with it. I still have my store-bought stuff if it's going to be a particularly stinky, long day. But I'm excited to eliminate one more chemical from my daily routine.

Technology and Memories

2010-07-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of vivid memories from childhood. As a kid I often pestered my mom to tell me stories about her childhood and my own childhood. I believe those frequent reminders helped me retain so many memories.

Fast forward to today. We have a computer in our kitchen. The screensaver rotates through our photo archives. Desmond loves looking at the photos, asking questions about them and then describing them.

Many of his memories are already being reinforced verbally and visually. I can't help but wonder if he - and other children of his generation - will have memories of earlier ages than I would have ever imagined.

The Fourth in Photos

2010-07-15T08:00:00.001-04:00

We celebrated the Fourth of July on the 3rd by picnicking at Fairfax High School, enjoying the music and watching the fireworks. Des stayed up for the whole thing and hasn't stopped talking about "Merica's birthday party."

Mom relaxes while Grandma and everyone else play with Des.

"Please people, I've got some serious business to take care of."

You are never a stranger to Des if you have a phone.

Post fireworks exhaustion.

Rain Commentary

2010-07-13T21:01:00.002-04:00

Tonight we had an amazing thunderstorm. Peter and Desmond watched it together while I ran errands. Desmond's comments went something like this:

lightning/thunder
Des: Again please.
lightning/thunder
Des: Good job fireworks.
long pause between lightning/thunder
Des: Page loading

Puzzlement

2010-06-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

Desmond has me stumped this week. We've repeated this conversation more times than I can count.

Des: Guess what?

Me: What?

Des: Trash truck was GREEN! *his laughter*

I have no clue what he's talking about. The trash trucks in our neighborhood aren't even green. Could this be his first joke?

Daddy's Boy

2010-06-28T08:00:00.001-04:00

It's so much fun to hang out with toddlers and watch/listen to them process the world. Des is really into everything that is related to Daddy lately.

Most mornings Des and I sit on the front steps and watch Peter drive off to work. Today Des said, "Daddy to work. Push buttons on computer." I only tell him that daddy programs computers. Somehow he must have figured out lots of button pushing is involved.

Desmond walks into our bedroom and everything is Daddy's bed or Daddy's toothbrush or Daddy's chair.

It's just me and Des in the middle of the grocery store he yells, "I love you Daddy!"

Yesterday Desmond was attentively watching Peter shave his cheeks. (Yes, that does happen from time to time!) Des noticed me watching and decisively shut the bathroom door. I guess it's my first of many, "Boys rule, girls drool."

Go Brazil!!

2010-06-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Even though Brazil is guaranteed to advance, we'll be cheering our hearts out. Who doesn't want to see the colony beat the colonizer? Plus, practically all the Portuguese players look like they have their eyebrows done.

I've met several Brasilians at playgrounds since we've started dressing Desmond in his Brasilian garb on game days.

Desmond loves all the soccer-watching that's been going on since the World Cup started. He never fails to put a smile on our face when he yells, "Goooooooooooooal do Brazil!"

The Farm

2010-06-23T20:29:00.004-04:00

We went to Frying Pan Park with Leah and Kimberly today. They have a small farm with animals for the kids to see. I'm always excited when Desmond can actually experience stuff like this instead of just reading about it.

My favorite part of the day was when Desmond noticed the water buckets for the animals. He kept asking the animals, "Hello goat. Would you like to play in water?" Or "Hello pig. Would you like to play in water?" I guess he can't imagine why a bucket of water would exist for anything other than play.

Leah practicing her tractor driving.

Des shares the wheel for a bit.

I don't know if we'll ever get a true non-"cheese" smile out of this kid. He loves saying "cheeeeese" for every photo. Reminds of myself as a kid...

I'm glad we braved the heat wave for an early morning trip. We even returned home in time to watch the US WIN their World Cup game! Woohoo!!!

Fankful

2010-06-21T13:49:00.002-04:00

Desmond is in a very thankful stage. He thanks for me bringing him milk. He thanks me for carrying him. He thanks other kids for sharing toys. It's probably a phase, but is still heart-meltingly sweet.

Mr. Fankful doing his tough-guy face.

One of my favorites is when he adds to our prayers at mealtime. We say a short prayer together, keeping it simple by thanking God for things Desmond understands. Lately, after I say amen, he occasionally pipes in with his own suggestions. It usually goes something like this, "Fank you swimming pool. Fank you card-from-Grandma. Fank you soccer. Fank you booberries."

Of course he doesn't understand prayer or God yet. In fact, he might even think we're thanking the actual objects. Still, I like this fankful little boy.

Strawberry Heaven

2010-06-08T15:20:00.004-04:00

I. am. in. heaven.

We went strawberry picking today with a friend and three of her daughters. The weather was cool and breezy. There were few bugs and lots of strawberries. The kids had fun playing with each other. These are the days I dreamed of when considering being a stay at home mom.

I envisioned Desmond happily picking berries as he waded through the bushes....like treasure hunting. Instead he played with the sprinkler system most of the time. Go figure.

Now it's time to play in the kitchen!

Cracking Me Up

2010-05-26T20:13:00.003-04:00

Desmond has been a riot this week in talking. I assume that since all kids are cute when they learn to talk, people don't want to hear my stories. Someone encouraged me to share them anyway...

-AANA - The American Association of Nurse Anesthetists sponsor NPR. We were listening one night at dinner and I realized "anesthetists" is a really difficult word. I tried saying it out loud. Desmond broke into giggles at my feeble attempt. He tried saying it out loud. Not much worse than me. For the next bit, we took turns practicing our "anesthetists" and our giggling.

- Actually - It's his new favorite word. Anytime he wants to do something that we just said "no" to, he breaks out "actually."

Des: Ride a bus, Mommy?

Me: Not today Desmond.

Des: (sternly with serious face) Actually, ride a bus.

-Thank You - I'm trying to give Des a bit more freedom and not always hold his hand in public when there is no imminent danger. As we left CVS today, a very tired looking middle-aged woman was leaving right in front of us. She half-heartedly held the door open for me. I don't think she saw Desmond below. I mumbled, "thank you." Desmond proceeded to chase after the lady saying, "tank you! tank you! tank you!" While she didn't know how to respond (after all, when do you actually address a toddler you don't know as a person?), she couldn't help but break into a big smile. I think he made my day and hers.

Bleach

2010-05-25T12:16:00.001-04:00

I'm lousy at cleaning. I like an organized room, but I'm mostly indifferent as to whether it's clean or not. Example - the kitchen counters can be clean and everything in its place but the stove will have caked food on it and the microwave will have tiny bits and pieces of stuff stuck to it. (Yes, you now know some of my "dirty" secrets.)

When I do clean, I go with the shock-and-awe approach. If you've got to do it, use the most force possible. This is where my bleach problem comes in. Bleach is the most efficient thing I've found to kill pretty much everything bad in your house. I figure why not use it, and use a lot of it.

Well.

After cleaning the bathroom the other day with my best friend, bleach, I couldn't smell much of anything for at least two hours. How embarrassing! It's pretty stupid to clean with bleach in a low-ventilated room for an extended period. Even worse, this isn't my first time doing that. *sigh*

As I surfed the Internet to find out how many brain cells I probably killed, I found this comment on a forum.

"Hopefully it will kill you soon. One less stupid person in the world. -Pot & Peace"

How appropriate.

Desmond in the UK

2010-05-05T13:30:00.007-04:00

Traveling with a toddler who is just old enough to have a strong will of his own, but not old enough to reason with, is not for the faint of heart. We all rose to the occasion, including Desmond, and had a really good time.

Here are some thoughts on traveling with Des and fun things he did on our trip.

- Befriend your stewards/stewardesses - All the milk, extra help, etc. they provided was really, really handy. Not to mention the fact that they helped us find extra seats on the plane for Des.

- Buy a seat for a toddler - Des isn't two yet, so we thought we'd take advantage of his ability to fly free as a "lap-child." For the record, Des is now over 3 feet tall and weighs about 28 lbs. Thankfully we were able to get a seat for him on both flights, but I think it would have been challenging to fly with him in our laps the whole time. Toddlers may be able to fly free, but it's not always a wise idea.

- Consistent bedding - Since we did a road trip through Scotland we didn't stay anywhere more than two nights. I was impressed that he slept quite well for the most part. We brought a portable crib Larry and Stephanie borrowed with us through Scotland. While it took up space in the car, I think it helped having the same bed in all these different places. If we couldn't have spared the space, I think having the same bedding from place to place would have helped.

- All maps lead to Scotland - We looked at a lot of maps of Scotland before our trip. Des now thinks all maps are maps of Scotland. This made him look quite brilliant to a few people though.

- Accents - We had an English-accented GPS system and toys. Des started picking it up and saying, "destination" or "bear left" or "circle" all with a British accent. Thankfully he's kept the words but lost the accent. How would I ever say no to him with those eyelashes AND a British accent?!?!

- Too much of a good thing - Once Des got a taste of something fun - tunnels, buses, bagpipes, etc. - the next word out of his mouth was "more!" It's hard to explain to a 19 month old you can't make tunnels appear out of thin air.

- Backpack carrier - We bought a backpack carrier on Ebay for $70. It proved really handy for both city and country use. If you're a hard-core hiker, I can see buying a nice pack that has been fitted well, etc. But for our occasional use this one worked just fine.

- Trash trucks/Fire trucks - Stephanie said she was looking forward to seeing Scotland through Desmond's eyes. I think this must have fueled her willingness to tail a trash truck through Inverness and find various construction sites for him to watch the back-hoes. Des was in heaven.

One of many amazing playgrounds.

Castle in Edinburgh

My boys on a rock fence. How British.

Ben Nevis, Britain's highest mountain, in the background.

The River Ness and the castle at Inverness. This was the view from one of our rooms.

Fail

2010-05-05T13:13:00.002-04:00

Ever have one of those days where all you see is failure at every turn? You don't clean enough, don't return emails/phone calls quickly enough, aren't gracious enough. When everything you do is laced with futility or insufficiency.

You can't seem to prioritize well. Your cookies are flat when they were supposed to be poofy. You're cranky with your kids for unreasonable reasons. You can't get the weeds out of your garden, the dust off the shelves, or the sulk of your face.

You remember that 99.9% of the people in the world have worse problems than your trivial ones....then you just. feel. worse.

It's good the sermon this week was on how Christ knew we would fail and loved us anyway. I guess days like these you decide to love yourself despite all the reasons to the contrary, get over yourself, and move on.

We're Home!

2010-04-26T07:58:00.002-04:00

We've just returned from a vacation in the UK visiting Peter's parents in England and then taking a road trip with them through Scotland. It was a wonderful change of pace and we really enjoyed spending time together. The countryside was idyllic, the Scottish Highlands were breath-taking, Edinburgh was stately, and, believe it or not, the weather was great!

Photos are coming. In the meantime, here are some observations:

Window Screens - None of the placed we stayed had screens on the windows. Apparently bugs aren't really a problem. No wonder the English claim to love nature more than Americans!

Babychange - Frequently places with bathrooms offered a "babychange" area, a room just for changing diapers. It was terrific because moms or dads (or both) could use it. Much better than the pull down changing tables often located in the Women's restrooms in the States. Yes, get those dads changing diapers! (Although perhaps I should just be grateful there is any facility at all to change a kid.)

Playgrounds - The playgrounds rock in the UK! They have all kinds of equipment considered "unsafe" here in the States. Merry-go-rounds, cool climbing frames, little seats that spin around really fast. Des isn't old enough to take advantage of much of it, but I was green with envy.

Sheep - The stereotype fits. There were sheep everywhere.

Driving - It should be straightforward to adjust to crossing streets knowing cars drive on the left side of the road. Somehow, it turned my brain to goo. I found myself standing at intersections looking back and forth five million times before crossing. I felt like a dog with my head wagging so much.

Kettles - I can't overstate the important of kettles in UK life. It still takes me by surprise when I visit. All of our hotel rooms had a kettle. None had a microwave. Few had a radio or clock.

4 for 1 - I've talked about it with people a lot and I still can't get my head around England, Scotland, Wales and N. Ireland being countries in a Kingdom. It feels like a semantic difference from our equivilent of states in the US. We don't have diplomatic relations with Scotland. Wales doesn't have their own Olympic team. The best I can tell, the only way they interact with the world as separate countries is the World Cup. I suppose some would see soccer loyalties as sufficient country divisions.

Loving the World Enough to Change It

2010-03-15T13:24:00.003-04:00

I've started writing about a dozen posts in my head during the past month. Somehow I never get around to actually typing them. To be honest, I've just been having too much fun living life lately to stop and write about it. We barely even took any photographs during the past month!

So instead of reading about my thoughts on my shaved head, Desmond, spring, etc., here's an excerpt from "Orthodoxy," by G. K. Chesterson that is in a Lenten devotional I've enjoyed this week:

"What we need is not the cold acceptance of the world as a compromise, but some way in which we can heartily hate and heartily love it. We do not want joy and anger to neutralize each other and produce a surly contentment we want a fiercer delight and a fiercer discontent. We have to feel the universe at once as an ogre's castle, to be stormed, and yet as our own cottage, to which we can return at evening.

No one doubts that an ordinary man can get on with this world...[But] can he hate it enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing?"

Rollin' Dope

2010-02-18T07:30:00.002-05:00

Desmond and I have stumbled into a new morning routine. We go upstairs to wake up Peter, then the three of us lay on the bed and sing songs together. We try to mix it up, doing stuff like The Itsy Bitsy Spider, These Are a Few of My Favorite Things, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, etc.

By far Desmond's favorite is Row, Row, Row Your Boat. It's the only one he tries to sing. According to Desmond, it goes something like this:

Roll, roll, roll dope.....

Romeo

2010-02-14T07:29:00.000-05:00

Apparently we have a real Romeo on our hands. I'm not sure where he gets it from; Peter and I aren't really what anyone would call romantic. Maybe it's from his grandfather.

Isn't this the face of a little Romeo?

Yesterday we went to a Valentine pancake breakfast for families with young kids. It was the first time Desmond and I had left the neighborhood in over a week because of the snow. We were both super-excited. Peter even got up early so we could all go together. As Peter and I ate our pancakes, a cute little girl about Desmond's age wandered up to our table and stared at us for a bit. Des insisted on getting off my lap to see her. He got down, waved to her, then leaned forward and said, "Kiss! Kiss!" He leaned in and kissed her! He proceeded to follow her around for a minute or two, trying to smooch her every time she stopped. He's never been that excited to kiss Peter or me.

I guess romance is in the air. Happy Valentine's Day!

How to Eat an Elephant

2010-02-13T17:41:00.006-05:00

Q: How do you eat an elephant?

A: One bite at a time.

It's an understatement to say we've had a lot of snow this winter. It has been the snowiest winter ever on record for DC. I'm a total snow-glutton, so it was heaven for me, especially since Peter got four days off. We shoveled night and day to dig out. I decided we should calculate how many pounds of snow we have moved in the past week. I suspect these are conservative estimates since we helped other people shovel. Here it goes:

Square Footage

Stoop and Sidewalk: 4ft wide x 60 ft length = 240 sq. ft

Two Parking Spots: 9ft wide x 20ft long x 2 (cars) = 360 sq. ft

Total square footage: 600 sq. ft

Weighing a bin of snow determined that the snow weighed 10.65 lbs/cubic foot

There were 24 inches of snow from the first storm and 8 inches from the second; 2 2/3 ft of total snow accumulation.

(600 sq. ft)*(2 2/3 ft)*(10.65 lbs/cubic foot) = 17,040 lbs of snow moved!

Pre-shoveling - cars, mailboxes, the road - none of them are very distinguishable.

Notice the height of the piles in comparison to the car and to the house windows.

An average adult elephant weighs around 12,000 lbs. I guess it's an understatement to say we know how to eat an elephant.

Truth Lurking

2010-02-04T16:53:00.002-05:00

I really like the Indigo Girls. As a teenager, Molly A. and I would lay on her roof listening to them as we watched the stars and talked late into the night. My appreciation of their music has not only lasted into adulthood, but changed as I have. In fact, I bought a new Indigo Girls CD after I had Desmond and found great solace and inspiration listening to it as he would cry and cry during those rough, early months.

What is it about them that affects me so deeply? I think it's because as I listen I often find myself worshiping Jesus. A little surprising, neh?

Their songs express the struggles of life with such beauty and honesty. The struggles of discovering yourself, of wrestling with being different, of demanding why the world isn't as it should be, of rejoicing in the beauty of the world when it IS as it should be.

22 Words posted this:

"Deal with Christianity's ideas and you'll either leave the faith or understand those who do. Being merely appalled at apostasy doesn’t come from strong faith. We need to also empathize, because we’re suffering through the same questions."

Christian or not, can't you feel the truth in the statement, "we're suffering through the same questions." Deep down aren't we all looking for significance? Trying to make sense of our world? Grasping to understand the truths of the universe. When we get a taste of Truth, doesn't it make you hunger for more?

I'm grateful for the unusual places Truth lurks.

How It Came Off

2010-02-01T13:03:00.007-05:00

Our friends Sarah and Graham Marsden came over to commemorate the event. They snapped photos and gave me moral support while Peter manned the buzzer.

Desmond still recognizes this as a photo of "mama."

Need more ponytails. Can't waste any hair that will be donated.

Snip, snip, they're falling!

Surreal. I never wanted to turn back, but that didn't dull the shock and
nervousness flowing through my whole body.

Bring on the sas (not that kind of SAS). I've never had really short hair before.
Maybe this photo is a foretaste of what is to come.

Should I go European?

Nah, take it all off!

Our feet share an intimate moment.

It's done! I felt liberated and exhilarated.

The people with the least hair in our home.
Now to practice with the make-up so people know I do actually have eyebrows.

P.S. Check out Graham and Sarah's fantastic work as Marsden Media!

The Big Shave

2010-01-31T22:07:00.003-05:00

Before

Have you ever had a crazy yet attainable dream you wished you had the guts to live out? For me, it was shaving my head. It's unexpected. It defies social norms. It is fun! (hopefully...)

A few weeks ago I told Peter that I should stop toying with the idea and just put it to rest. I wasn't going to shave my head ever and I should get over it. He surprised me by saying I should seriously consider it. I suspect that at first he was just calling my bluff, but true to form, he stood by his words and was genuinely supportive. After a few helpful conversations with some friends, I decided to take the plunge.

After!

I'm not much of a risk taker, but this is a great risk for me. It's not trivial, but it does eventually un-do itself. Motherhood helps you realize life is comprised of phases, which makes it easier to take on a big change. It's only a phase that will eventually pass.

So in addition to hearing about Desmond and my random thoughts on life, I'll now give an occasional reflection on my journey to shave my head and grow it back!

But I STILL love technology. Always and forever.

2010-01-24T14:05:00.000-05:00

What goes on in that little head?

When I was little my grandparents would record messages or read books on cassette tapes and mail them to me. My sister and I would send them tapes back. Back then it was a modern twist on the pen-pal concept.

Fast-forward a few decades to the world of Skype. Desmond loves to Skype. He knows most of the sounds and makes sad noises when he hears someone go offline. He's learning family members' names from Skyping with them. He knows which people show him the clocks in their house, which read books to him online, etc. He can tell when a conversation is ending and sometimes pre-empts us with is own "bye-bye."

Maybe Skyping is like the telephone was to me as a kid, except with a moving picture. I don't know how he makes sense of all the things he sees on the computer, but he's definitely integrating it into his understanding of the universe.

Happy Thoughts - Part 3

2010-01-22T14:32:00.002-05:00

More Happy Thoughts. (Part 1 and Part 2)

Little boys with mohawks
People feeling at home in your house
Putting on high heels
Taking off high heels
Chopping vegetables, especially without distractions
Watching Desmond learn to walk and talk
Successfully applying mascara on the first try
A hairbrush against your scalp after taking your ponytail down
Watching the sunlight change throughout the morning in my kitchen window
Getting through a workout you didn't think you could do
Lentils and burnt onions
Shocking people....more to come on this one

Scoobabber and Skype

2010-01-05T14:26:00.007-05:00

Desmond is at a really fun stage where he's doing all kinds of things that are interesting and cute to me because I know they are new. I'm not sure how fun they are for the rest of the world (minus grandparents and aunts, of course). That's why I haven't written about them much, but I'm going to try. Hopefully I'll improve in the art of toddler story-telling.

Peter worked on the basement one afternoon this weekend. We let Desmond roam around while I kept an eye on him. He was fascinated by Peter and was trying to imitate everything. If Peter used a hammer, Desmond wanted to try. If Peter blew sawdust off a drill hole, Desmond walked around blowing dust off things. He loved the real tools, which was a bit stressful. This also precipitated his first three syllable word, "scoobabber," which is screwdriver for those of you who don't speak Desmond-ese.

Desmond-ese also contains "tao" as telephone, "up" as down, "up" as up, "fuk" a fork. Very cute.

Peter likes to build block towers and Desmond likes to knock them down. A good symbiotic relationship.

He has an obsession for keys and telephones. It now extends to toothbrushing. We let him stand on the rug in our bathroom and "brush his teeth" with an adult toothbrush while we brush ours. Some of his worst meltdowns come when it's time to put the toothbrush away. He must be my child, as I'm a bit obsessed with clean teeth.

I'm grateful for that reassurance because he's also figured out how to put a lid on his sippy cup. I am severely lid-impaired; it's almost embarrassing. Maybe he didn't inherit all of my faults.

I must vacuum and sweep a lot, because he also loves the broom and vacuum cleaner. When I'm vacuuming he wedges himself between me and the vacuum and insists on helping. When I sweep the kitchen, he squats over the pile of dirt and says, "Dirty, dirty, dirty." I know he will eventually be embarrassed to do what his mom does, but for now, I'm grateful.

I have to harness this willingness while it lasts!

The only TV he really watches is Duke basketball games. When a game is on in the afternoon, we sometimes watch it as a family. Desmond now has the right inflection of "Let's Go Duke" and can say "Duke." It's really cute when he says it to himself while trying to fall asleep. (I've tried to get it on video. He refuses to say it while I'm filming, but babbles away after I turn off the camera.) Unfortunately, he's still very impressionable. Uncle Chris had Des saying "Terp" with only 10 minutes of coaching.

As with basement work, Desmond also tried to imitate Peter juggling limes. Have I used "cute" enough yet in this post?

We Skype a lot with family. Since learning how to climb into chairs, Des will climb into the computer chair, say, "Skype, Skype" and sing the Skype connection tune. It's interesting to think about what types of connections kids will make to understand new technology.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I'll dole out the stories at a more even pace in the future!

What's Up with Desmond?

2009-12-22T23:47:00.004-05:00

I haven't written about Desmond lately because I'm constantly running to keep up with him. He's very mobile now, walking everywhere and even occasionally trying to walk backwards. Recently he's started climbing into kitchen chairs. We have more "bleeding incidents" than ever before. I'm pretty sure it's adding to my gray hairs.

My favorite part of this age is watching Desmond learn to communicate. He gets so excited when he learns and uses a new word. Some of his favorite words are: no, shoe, clock, truck, mailman, mama, dada, vovo, oh-no, uh-oh, and up (which also means "down" sometimes).

He still loves animals. Several neighbors now make a special effort to let their pets out when Desmond is around so he can play with them.

R.I.P. dear Oliver. Desmond will miss trying to ride you.

Desmond loves trucks. I'm pretty sure Christmas is already his favorite holiday only because of all the delivery trucks parading up and down our street. He's made friends with the mailmen and trash men.

"Mom, stop taking pictures and pick out a tree already!"

Helping Dad hang the lights.

At his last check-up a couple of weeks ago, Desmond stood at 35 inches! One inch short of three feet tall.

Recently Desmond started taking one nap a day. That's been another exhausting adventure for me. I'm definitely still adjusting to having him around so much more. And hopefully his molars will be in by the end of the year. That will make all three of us happier.

I wasn't ready to make all these transitions during the Christmas season when there is so much to get done, but we're rolling with the punches.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Choosing Richness

2009-12-07T15:35:00.002-05:00

I have confession to make. Before I became a parent, I remember hearing parents gratitude for small things in life and sometimes thinking it was kind of lame...or at least kind of sad.

For instance, was life as a parent really so tough that you were thankful for a trip alone to the grocery store? Or that waking up at 8 o'clock qualified as the luxury of "sleeping in?" I sometimes thought that life as a parent must be so hard and dreary that these people had drastically lowered their standards for happiness so as not to be bummed about their life of restriction.

You could look at it that way, but I think I was missing something beautiful. The blessings children bring into life are sometimes hard to describe, but they have made my life much deeper and richer than I ever would have imagined. I will admit that life with children has many restrictions. Yet for each restriction there are five more blessings, if you choose to see them.

If you choose to see them.

Recently I've been reminded by my friend Kate N. that we must pay attention in order to see the good things of life. This is more than a psychological exercise in happiness. Choosing to see and appreciate the small joys of life is not lame nor is it lowering your standards. I believe it is a more "real" experience of life.

Having a child helped me go deeper into an attitude of gratefulness, but children are not a pre-requisite for this mentality! Any of us can choose to dwell on the easily-overlooked treasures in our lives. They are waiting to be discovered in all sorts of unexpected places.

So this season, I am thankful for sleeping in until 8 or grocery shopping alone. I'm thankful for the privilege of helping Desmond grow and learn about the world. For walking through life as Peter's friend, partner-in-crime and lover. For the richness that comes through sacrifice for others. For the easy and hard life experiences, and the obvious and hidden blessings.

I am working on choosing to see how each one makes me who I am and makes my life more rich.

Deceptive Futility

2009-11-12T21:58:00.005-05:00

As I cleaned out bits of food from the high chair for the ump-teenth time last week, I was reflecting on how futile it seemed. I would be cleaning out the same high chair again just a few hours later. Why bother?

There are a lot of things in parenting that seem futile. Repeating admonitions. "No touch." "Stay downstairs." Tackling the unending mountain of laundry. And diapers. And dishes. Did I mention the diapers?

Occasionally though, I get a glimpse of the importance of all these things.

Case in point, I get rather angry when Desmond is difficult at mealtime. I've learned to stop and take a deep breath when my frustration gets too high. Recently, I put the spoon down, closed my eyes and took a nice long breath. Feeling calmer, I opened my eyes to see Desmond smiling at me. He proceeded to take a deep breath and imitate me blowing it out slowly. We both cracked up.

I had no clue he notices those kinds of things. I'm glad he's imitating me doing that rather than throwing a spoon down. (He certainly doesn't need encouragement there!)

What else might he pick up from my daily habits? It's a reminder to persevere in tackling the dull, repetitive, "futile" parts of life with an attitude of excellence. And it's an encouragement to see them as a service to God and to little watching eyes.

(P.S. I may try to faithfully wipe down high chairs, but I still think making a bed is futile unless you live in a dorm room!)

Playing in the Leaves

2009-11-10T10:22:00.003-05:00

This is for those of you who liked the other picture book post.

Who put me in a pile of itchy leaves? This is a terrible idea!

If I keep my hands high enough, maybe I won't have to touch this rotting mess.

Hmmm, the leaves do make a nice crunchy sound...perhaps I should reconsider.

Wait, this is a lot of fun! These people might actually know what they're doing.

New Frontiers

2009-11-05T14:13:00.005-05:00

Desmond took his first few steps on Tuesday. He surprised me by sliding off my lap and stumbling over to his crib to get Thing 2 and then walking back to me. He has also dramatically increased the number of face-plants he does each day. Good for our little adventurer.

Sometimes when it rains it sometimes pours developmentally speaking. As I was making lunch today I turned around and saw this:

He has never successfully climbed on top of the couch before. A whole new world of "no touch" has opened up.

In other news, Peter and I are off to Dallas this weekend to see Sonia and Ian get married. We are going ALONE(!!), while Larry and Stephanie watch Desmond. This week I turned to Peter and excitedly said, "I can't wait for the flight. Four hours of reading when I want to, lingering over my drink, napping or going to the bathroom when I want to! We could even be delayed and it's not that big of a deal." Ah, how parenthood changes your outlook on life.

The World Is Too Much With Us

2009-11-04T18:32:00.000-05:00

Something I've been thinking about lately.

The World Is Too Much With Us
by William Wordsworth

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. —Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

Halloween Indecision

2009-11-02T09:23:00.002-05:00

Desmond thought about being a lion for Halloween.

Then he considered going as the spawn of Little Red Riding Hood.

Finally he settled on being some cool-cat Leopard.

He practiced sharing candy with Daddy.

Eventually decided that it was time to get his tail in bed.

Thing One, Thing Two

2009-10-21T10:49:00.003-04:00

My dad gave Desmond a stuffed elephant when he was first born. It was originally from my dad and Sandra, but once Dad likened it to the Republican Party mascot, Sandra quickly withdrew her support. :-)

Desmond has become quite attached to the elephant. It's his security toy for sleeping. Every time he sees it, his face lights up and he races to give it a hug or kiss. It's quite cute.

I'm so grateful for something that helps him sleep well, I recently bought a back-up in case tragedy strikes. Desmond took it for a test run and found it acceptable. We may not have our life insurance situation figured out, but at least we've got a back-up elephant.

Until Des gets a competing political mascot, Republicans rule his crib.

Fractals

2009-10-16T14:42:00.000-04:00

Desmond is showing increasing interest in the world around him. He particularly loves animals. It's a lot of fun to watch his face light up when he spots a dog, cat, squirrel, bird, etc.

He's also noticing things on the walls in the house a lot more. It's fun to teach him names of different things in his room. Like fish. Or map. Or fractal.

Oh yeah, did I ever mention we had a fractal blown up into poster size and frames for his room? I think decorating the baby's room is mostly for the parents. So as we prepared for Desmond, I decided that I wanted something that I thought both Desmond and I would find interesting. There's a cool site called Zazzle where you can purchase posters of fractals.

I should probably start working on my explanation of a fractal now...

Mini Books

2009-10-13T14:38:00.003-04:00

I didn't realize Desmond's birthday cards would be gifts that kept on giving. He "re-reads" them almost every day. He gets so excited about them, I haven't had the heart to pack them away yet. I guess those keepsakes will be a little worse for the wear...but all the more loved!

Happy Thoughts - Part 2

2009-10-06T11:13:00.003-04:00

A continuation in the Happy Thoughts series.

Kisses from Desmond
Sharing a good book with a friend
The motion of falling leaves
A good Indigo Girls' song
A yellow sky before a rain
Using local, in-season produce
An unexpected email from a friend
Remembering a dream when you wake up
Freshly scrubbed kitchen floor
Cooking with sharp knives
Sharing beauty of Trig functions
Snuggling with Peter when the weather is cold
Learning about the Church thriving in places of persecution

A few weeks of fun

2009-09-28T19:20:00.008-04:00

We've had a fantastic couple of weeks. It's impossible to sum up all the fun moments, so I'll just give you some highlights.

My sister came to visit for a long weekend. We jogged together (with Desmond), watched planes land at Gravelly Point had leisurely talks over tea. Megan and Desmond had ample time to play together.

Meg and Des share a dance.

Peter helps Des not be scared of the landing planes.

Estatic giggles.

The next weekend Molly, Furman and Grant A. came to visit. Grant is three weeks older than Desmond. For some reason, Des seemed to enjoy playing with Grant more than any other kid his age so far. They entertained each other constantly, much to their parents delight. It was fun to hear the pattering of crawling babies around the house and watch them learn new tricks from each other. Molly and I cooked and walked and talked a lot. The guys took apart and reassembled computers. The boys visited a cool playground, Clemyjontri. Other than the fact that the boys exchanged colds, it was a fantastic weekend.

Our bookish boys take a break from wrestling each other.
(I didn't know one year olds would wrestle already.)

Furman, Grant and Molly
The grown-ups pose for a photo. Desmond and Grant took a nice picture, neh?

I wished we lived closer to Megan and Molly/Furman. Distance does make the heart grow fonder, because I cherished every moment with them!

Happy Birthday Desmond

2009-09-08T14:14:00.004-04:00

Desmond turns one year old today. We had a wonderful lunch today with some of our friends to celebrate. Jeff E. made yummy cupcakes for Des and the rest of us. Too bad Desmond is still recovering from his cold. I think he couldn't fully taste his first introduction to the amazing world of processed sugar. He seemed to enjoy all the commotion anyway.

Des thanks Jeff with a smile for the cupcake.

We enjoy a hot dog lunch.

Mom and Dad are so proud of their son.

Reviewing a Year Through Books

2009-08-30T09:24:00.006-04:00

Desmond is almost a year old. Hard to believe. One of the ways I'm remembering his first year is to look over all the books I've read. The first six months of nursing allowed me to read while Des ate. This was quite a luxury to me since I wasn't expecting to read much with a newborn around.

Despite the encouragement of my friend Kate N., I haven't started using Good Reads...yet. Until I do, here's a plain ol' text list of the books I've read in the past year. You'll see I went a bit heavy on the fiction, probably in reaction to all the pregnancy/baby books I read before Desmond arrive.

I didn't enjoy all of these books and I'm not endorsing all of them. I will say my favorites were Liar's Poker and Ender's Game.

The Haj, Leon Uris
Letters to My Younger Self, a collection of essays
The Drunkard's Walk, by Leonard Mlodinow
The Omnivore's Dilemma, by Michael Pollan
Chasing Fireflies, by Charles Martin
Things They Carried, by Tim O'Brien
The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch
The Hidden Art of Homemaking, by Edith Schaeffer
Liar's Poker, by Michael Lewis
Foucault's Pendulum, by Umberto Echo
Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert
Click - What Millions of People Are Doing Online and Why It Matters, by Bill Tancer
Infidel, by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Girlfriends' Guide to the First Year, Vicky Iovine
Secret Believers, Brother Andrew
Dakota: A Spiritual Geography, Kathleen Norris
Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
When Crickets Cry, Charles Martin
Baby Whisperer, Tracy Hogg
Happiest Baby on the Block, Harvey Karp
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - Marc Weissbluth
Babywise, Gary Ezzo
Life of Pi, Yann Martel
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
Ender's Game, Scott Orson Card
Speaker for the Dead, Scott Orson Card
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou
Predictably Irrational, Dan Ariely
Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid, by Douglas Hofstadter (only the first third...it's going to take me forever to finish)

Not a Poser

2009-08-28T19:45:00.002-04:00

My friend Holly R. once told me it takes about a year to find your identity after you have your first child. I think she's right.

I love being at home with Desmond. I'm grateful that I have the option to love, teach and grow with him each day. But after some soul searching during our vacation, I realized that I miss the intellectual stimulation from being in the work force. Sparing you my deliberations and brainstorming, it suffices to say that I decided to try tutoring high school students in math. It would allow me to brush up on my math skills, make a little bit of money, and allow me to help others. My high school math teachers changed my life for the better. I would be delighted if I could help someone to like math (or at least hate it less).

So I have my first (and, at the moment, only) student to tutor! She's taking AP Calculus, we've met once, and I'm *really* enjoying myself.

I have to confess that after seven years of not doing real math, I was starting to wonder if I was a bit of a poser. I'm quick to say that I love math, but what if I couldn't do it anymore?

Also, I am notorious for learning something then quickly forgetting the details. I claim that it's my learning style. I retain the big concepts and remember where to reference the details later. But what if I couldn't actually pick up the details of calculus again?

What if I were a big poser?

But, it's coming back to me! Picking up calculus again has been like sliding on your favorite pair of old shoes that you haven't worn in a while. It fits in all the right ways and makes you remember all the places you've been together. In fact, I've had so much fun brushing up on my calculus that it's been hard to make myself do anything productive in my free time this week.

So maybe I'm not a poser after all.

Happy Thoughts - Part 1

2009-08-25T11:00:00.001-04:00

There are a lot of things that make me happy in life. I'm trying to be more intentional about dwelling on them. As Desmond fights off his first somewhat-serious illness (not counting the NICU), it's especially good to consider the good in life.

Babies or children laughing
A good tickle
Homemade ginger ale
Clean teeth
Anything daffodil
Working up a good sweat
My maiden name - Katharine Nicholette Knight
A skirt rustling in the wind
A good smelling husband (Peter is the least stinky white guy I know!)
Homemade granola
How my ponytail swishes against my back
Fibonacci sequence
Cooking with homegrown herbs

Florida

2009-08-18T09:47:00.007-04:00

After time in the Outer Banks, the three of us flew down to southern Florida to visit my family in West Palm Beach and attend Peter's high school reunion in Miami.

Peter went to PACA in Brazil. I personally think there is some type of common thread that runs through most PACA kids that I've met. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it does make them special. I enjoyed hearing all the Portuguese and putting faces with names.

Everyone went on a bayside boat ride to see the amazing Miami coast and posh houses.

A few of the people at the reunion.

In West Palm Beach, we stayed with my cousin Susanne's family. They have two daughters Alexandra (6) and Julia (2.5). The girls and Desmond wore themselves out playing with each other and us. It was wonderful to see Desmond playing with his cousins, especially since that doesn't happen very often. (We never quite figured out if they are second cousins, second cousins once removed, etc. Who in the world understands all that stuff?!?)

Desmond also got to meet his great grandfather, Tom Knight. I was seriously impressed with my grandfather's ease with the baby. He's obviously practiced. :-)

Peter reads one of many stories to the kids.

Great Grandpa Knight loves on Desmond. Look at all the blue eyes!

Aunt Diane teaches Desmond to play the piano. She's got the magic touch with kids.

Sand and Bailes Reunion

2009-07-27T12:14:00.008-04:00

We've had a great time traveling on and off for the past six weeks. It's great to be home for a long stretch now!

At the end of July, Katie was in the States for a few weeks for her orientation with CRS before she headed off to East Timor for a year. Peter and I were excited to go on a vacation with her for a week before her training started.

We spent a few days in the Outer Banks before heading to Sanford to attend the 25th Bailes Family Reunion. It was particularly fun for me to share the family reunion with Katie. and see my sister Megan. Unfortunately, we were lazy with the camera at the Reunion and didn't get any photos...

Friends in Town

2009-07-27T12:01:00.006-04:00

Last week I had the treat of watching my friend Carrie N.'s daughter Stephanie while she attended USAID training in DC. Stephanie is two months older than Desmond. They had a great time playing together, although each became jealous when I held the other.

Hats off to you moms of multiples. I'm grateful that kids develop gradually. It was quite a handful to immediately go from one toddling baby to two! Thankfully they are both sweet babies, which made things easier.

Although Stephanie is American/Congolese, I think she could pass for a sweet Brazilian baby. I couldn't resist letting her wear the bib.

Stephanie helps Desmond practice heading in case he wants to be a soccer star someday.

"Do you like my reading area Stephanie? It's my favorite spot in the house."

First in Flight

2009-07-16T14:16:00.004-04:00

This past week was Desmond's first flight. Desmond and I flew to Charlotte where my dad met us and drove us to Asheville. We all had a blast. Desmond practiced his drunken walking while Grandpa and Gran held his arms.

He also became completely and totally infatuated with the two cats. Des would wake up from his nap babbling "gack, gack, gack" (his way of saying "cat"). Who knows, maybe someday Desmond will convince his mom and dad to get him an indoor pet. That would be a miracle. :-)