The Farm

We went to Frying Pan Park with Leah and Kimberly today. They have a small farm with animals for the kids to see. I'm always excited when Desmond can actually experience stuff like this instead of just reading about it.

My favorite part of the day was when Desmond noticed the water buckets for the animals. He kept asking the animals, "Hello goat. Would you like to play in water?" Or "Hello pig. Would you like to play in water?" I guess he can't imagine why a bucket of water would exist for anything other than play.

Leah practicing her tractor driving.

Des shares the wheel for a bit.

I don't know if we'll ever get a true non-"cheese" smile out of this kid. He loves saying "cheeeeese" for every photo. Reminds of myself as a kid...

I'm glad we braved the heat wave for an early morning trip. We even returned home in time to watch the US WIN their World Cup game! Woohoo!!!

Fankful

Desmond is in a very thankful stage. He thanks for me bringing him milk. He thanks me for carrying him. He thanks other kids for sharing toys. It's probably a phase, but is still heart-meltingly sweet.

Mr. Fankful doing his tough-guy face.

One of my favorites is when he adds to our prayers at mealtime. We say a short prayer together, keeping it simple by thanking God for things Desmond understands. Lately, after I say amen, he occasionally pipes in with his own suggestions. It usually goes something like this, "Fank you swimming pool. Fank you card-from-Grandma. Fank you soccer. Fank you booberries."

Of course he doesn't understand prayer or God yet. In fact, he might even think we're thanking the actual objects. Still, I like this fankful little boy.

Strawberry Heaven

I. am. in. heaven.

We went strawberry picking today with a friend and three of her daughters. The weather was cool and breezy. There were few bugs and lots of strawberries. The kids had fun playing with each other. These are the days I dreamed of when considering being a stay at home mom.

I envisioned Desmond happily picking berries as he waded through the bushes....like treasure hunting. Instead he played with the sprinkler system most of the time. Go figure.

Now it's time to play in the kitchen!

Cracking Me Up

Desmond has been a riot this week in talking. I assume that since all kids are cute when they learn to talk, people don't want to hear my stories. Someone encouraged me to share them anyway...

-AANA - The American Association of Nurse Anesthetists sponsor NPR. We were listening one night at dinner and I realized "anesthetists" is a really difficult word. I tried saying it out loud. Desmond broke into giggles at my feeble attempt. He tried saying it out loud. Not much worse than me. For the next bit, we took turns practicing our "anesthetists" and our giggling.

- Actually - It's his new favorite word. Anytime he wants to do something that we just said "no" to, he breaks out "actually."

Des: Ride a bus, Mommy?

Me: Not today Desmond.

Des: (sternly with serious face) Actually, ride a bus.

-Thank You - I'm trying to give Des a bit more freedom and not always hold his hand in public when there is no imminent danger. As we left CVS today, a very tired looking middle-aged woman was leaving right in front of us. She half-heartedly held the door open for me. I don't think she saw Desmond below. I mumbled, "thank you." Desmond proceeded to chase after the lady saying, "tank you! tank you! tank you!" While she didn't know how to respond (after all, when do you actually address a toddler you don't know as a person?), she couldn't help but break into a big smile. I think he made my day and hers.

Bleach

I'm lousy at cleaning. I like an organized room, but I'm mostly indifferent as to whether it's clean or not. Example - the kitchen counters can be clean and everything in its place but the stove will have caked food on it and the microwave will have tiny bits and pieces of stuff stuck to it. (Yes, you now know some of my "dirty" secrets.)

When I do clean, I go with the shock-and-awe approach. If you've got to do it, use the most force possible. This is where my bleach problem comes in. Bleach is the most efficient thing I've found to kill pretty much everything bad in your house. I figure why not use it, and use a lot of it.

Well.

After cleaning the bathroom the other day with my best friend, bleach, I couldn't smell much of anything for at least two hours. How embarrassing! It's pretty stupid to clean with bleach in a low-ventilated room for an extended period. Even worse, this isn't my first time doing that. *sigh*

As I surfed the Internet to find out how many brain cells I probably killed, I found this comment on a forum.

"Hopefully it will kill you soon. One less stupid person in the world. -Pot & Peace"

How appropriate.

Desmond in the UK

Traveling with a toddler who is just old enough to have a strong will of his own, but not old enough to reason with, is not for the faint of heart. We all rose to the occasion, including Desmond, and had a really good time.

Here are some thoughts on traveling with Des and fun things he did on our trip.

- Befriend your stewards/stewardesses - All the milk, extra help, etc. they provided was really, really handy. Not to mention the fact that they helped us find extra seats on the plane for Des.

- Buy a seat for a toddler - Des isn't two yet, so we thought we'd take advantage of his ability to fly free as a "lap-child." For the record, Des is now over 3 feet tall and weighs about 28 lbs. Thankfully we were able to get a seat for him on both flights, but I think it would have been challenging to fly with him in our laps the whole time. Toddlers may be able to fly free, but it's not always a wise idea.

- Consistent bedding - Since we did a road trip through Scotland we didn't stay anywhere more than two nights. I was impressed that he slept quite well for the most part. We brought a portable crib Larry and Stephanie borrowed with us through Scotland. While it took up space in the car, I think it helped having the same bed in all these different places. If we couldn't have spared the space, I think having the same bedding from place to place would have helped.

- All maps lead to Scotland - We looked at a lot of maps of Scotland before our trip. Des now thinks all maps are maps of Scotland. This made him look quite brilliant to a few people though.

- Accents - We had an English-accented GPS system and toys. Des started picking it up and saying, "destination" or "bear left" or "circle" all with a British accent. Thankfully he's kept the words but lost the accent. How would I ever say no to him with those eyelashes AND a British accent?!?!

- Too much of a good thing - Once Des got a taste of something fun - tunnels, buses, bagpipes, etc. - the next word out of his mouth was "more!" It's hard to explain to a 19 month old you can't make tunnels appear out of thin air.

- Backpack carrier - We bought a backpack carrier on Ebay for $70. It proved really handy for both city and country use. If you're a hard-core hiker, I can see buying a nice pack that has been fitted well, etc. But for our occasional use this one worked just fine.

- Trash trucks/Fire trucks - Stephanie said she was looking forward to seeing Scotland through Desmond's eyes. I think this must have fueled her willingness to tail a trash truck through Inverness and find various construction sites for him to watch the back-hoes. Des was in heaven.

One of many amazing playgrounds.

Castle in Edinburgh

My boys on a rock fence. How British.

Ben Nevis, Britain's highest mountain, in the background.

The River Ness and the castle at Inverness. This was the view from one of our rooms.

Fail

Ever have one of those days where all you see is failure at every turn? You don't clean enough, don't return emails/phone calls quickly enough, aren't gracious enough. When everything you do is laced with futility or insufficiency.

You can't seem to prioritize well. Your cookies are flat when they were supposed to be poofy. You're cranky with your kids for unreasonable reasons. You can't get the weeds out of your garden, the dust off the shelves, or the sulk of your face.

You remember that 99.9% of the people in the world have worse problems than your trivial ones....then you just. feel. worse.

It's good the sermon this week was on how Christ knew we would fail and loved us anyway. I guess days like these you decide to love yourself despite all the reasons to the contrary, get over yourself, and move on.

We're Home!

We've just returned from a vacation in the UK visiting Peter's parents in England and then taking a road trip with them through Scotland. It was a wonderful change of pace and we really enjoyed spending time together. The countryside was idyllic, the Scottish Highlands were breath-taking, Edinburgh was stately, and, believe it or not, the weather was great!

Photos are coming. In the meantime, here are some observations:

Window Screens - None of the placed we stayed had screens on the windows. Apparently bugs aren't really a problem. No wonder the English claim to love nature more than Americans!

Babychange - Frequently places with bathrooms offered a "babychange" area, a room just for changing diapers. It was terrific because moms or dads (or both) could use it. Much better than the pull down changing tables often located in the Women's restrooms in the States. Yes, get those dads changing diapers! (Although perhaps I should just be grateful there is any facility at all to change a kid.)

Playgrounds - The playgrounds rock in the UK! They have all kinds of equipment considered "unsafe" here in the States. Merry-go-rounds, cool climbing frames, little seats that spin around really fast. Des isn't old enough to take advantage of much of it, but I was green with envy.

Sheep - The stereotype fits. There were sheep everywhere.

Driving - It should be straightforward to adjust to crossing streets knowing cars drive on the left side of the road. Somehow, it turned my brain to goo. I found myself standing at intersections looking back and forth five million times before crossing. I felt like a dog with my head wagging so much.

Kettles - I can't overstate the important of kettles in UK life. It still takes me by surprise when I visit. All of our hotel rooms had a kettle. None had a microwave. Few had a radio or clock.

4 for 1 - I've talked about it with people a lot and I still can't get my head around England, Scotland, Wales and N. Ireland being countries in a Kingdom. It feels like a semantic difference from our equivilent of states in the US. We don't have diplomatic relations with Scotland. Wales doesn't have their own Olympic team. The best I can tell, the only way they interact with the world as separate countries is the World Cup. I suppose some would see soccer loyalties as sufficient country divisions.

Loving the World Enough to Change It

I've started writing about a dozen posts in my head during the past month. Somehow I never get around to actually typing them. To be honest, I've just been having too much fun living life lately to stop and write about it. We barely even took any photographs during the past month!

So instead of reading about my thoughts on my shaved head, Desmond, spring, etc., here's an excerpt from "Orthodoxy," by G. K. Chesterson that is in a Lenten devotional I've enjoyed this week:

"What we need is not the cold acceptance of the world as a compromise, but some way in which we can heartily hate and heartily love it. We do not want joy and anger to neutralize each other and produce a surly contentment we want a fiercer delight and a fiercer discontent. We have to feel the universe at once as an ogre's castle, to be stormed, and yet as our own cottage, to which we can return at evening.

No one doubts that an ordinary man can get on with this world...[But] can he hate it enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing?"

Rollin' Dope

Desmond and I have stumbled into a new morning routine. We go upstairs to wake up Peter, then the three of us lay on the bed and sing songs together. We try to mix it up, doing stuff like The Itsy Bitsy Spider, These Are a Few of My Favorite Things, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, etc.

By far Desmond's favorite is Row, Row, Row Your Boat. It's the only one he tries to sing. According to Desmond, it goes something like this:

Roll, roll, roll dope.....

Romeo

Apparently we have a real Romeo on our hands. I'm not sure where he gets it from; Peter and I aren't really what anyone would call romantic. Maybe it's from his grandfather.

Isn't this the face of a little Romeo?

Yesterday we went to a Valentine pancake breakfast for families with young kids. It was the first time Desmond and I had left the neighborhood in over a week because of the snow. We were both super-excited. Peter even got up early so we could all go together. As Peter and I ate our pancakes, a cute little girl about Desmond's age wandered up to our table and stared at us for a bit. Des insisted on getting off my lap to see her. He got down, waved to her, then leaned forward and said, "Kiss! Kiss!" He leaned in and kissed her! He proceeded to follow her around for a minute or two, trying to smooch her every time she stopped. He's never been that excited to kiss Peter or me.

I guess romance is in the air. Happy Valentine's Day!

How to Eat an Elephant

Q: How do you eat an elephant?

A: One bite at a time.

It's an understatement to say we've had a lot of snow this winter. It has been the snowiest winter ever on record for DC. I'm a total snow-glutton, so it was heaven for me, especially since Peter got four days off. We shoveled night and day to dig out. I decided we should calculate how many pounds of snow we have moved in the past week. I suspect these are conservative estimates since we helped other people shovel. Here it goes:

Square Footage

Stoop and Sidewalk: 4ft wide x 60 ft length = 240 sq. ft

Two Parking Spots: 9ft wide x 20ft long x 2 (cars) = 360 sq. ft

Total square footage: 600 sq. ft

Weighing a bin of snow determined that the snow weighed 10.65 lbs/cubic foot

There were 24 inches of snow from the first storm and 8 inches from the second; 2 2/3 ft of total snow accumulation.

(600 sq. ft)*(2 2/3 ft)*(10.65 lbs/cubic foot) = 17,040 lbs of snow moved!

Pre-shoveling - cars, mailboxes, the road - none of them are very distinguishable.

Notice the height of the piles in comparison to the car and to the house windows.

An average adult elephant weighs around 12,000 lbs. I guess it's an understatement to say we know how to eat an elephant.

Truth Lurking

I really like the Indigo Girls. As a teenager, Molly A. and I would lay on her roof listening to them as we watched the stars and talked late into the night. My appreciation of their music has not only lasted into adulthood, but changed as I have. In fact, I bought a new Indigo Girls CD after I had Desmond and found great solace and inspiration listening to it as he would cry and cry during those rough, early months.

What is it about them that affects me so deeply? I think it's because as I listen I often find myself worshiping Jesus. A little surprising, neh?

Their songs express the struggles of life with such beauty and honesty. The struggles of discovering yourself, of wrestling with being different, of demanding why the world isn't as it should be, of rejoicing in the beauty of the world when it IS as it should be.

22 Words posted this:

"Deal with Christianity's ideas and you'll either leave the faith or understand those who do. Being merely appalled at apostasy doesn’t come from strong faith. We need to also empathize, because we’re suffering through the same questions."

Christian or not, can't you feel the truth in the statement, "we're suffering through the same questions." Deep down aren't we all looking for significance? Trying to make sense of our world? Grasping to understand the truths of the universe. When we get a taste of Truth, doesn't it make you hunger for more?

I'm grateful for the unusual places Truth lurks.

How It Came Off

Our friends Sarah and Graham Marsden came over to commemorate the event. They snapped photos and gave me moral support while Peter manned the buzzer.

Desmond still recognizes this as a photo of "mama."

Need more ponytails. Can't waste any hair that will be donated.

Snip, snip, they're falling!

Surreal. I never wanted to turn back, but that didn't dull the shock and
nervousness flowing through my whole body.

Bring on the sas (not that kind of SAS). I've never had really short hair before.
Maybe this photo is a foretaste of what is to come.

Should I go European?

Nah, take it all off!

Our feet share an intimate moment.

It's done! I felt liberated and exhilarated.

The people with the least hair in our home.
Now to practice with the make-up so people know I do actually have eyebrows.

P.S. Check out Graham and Sarah's fantastic work as Marsden Media!

The Big Shave

Before

Have you ever had a crazy yet attainable dream you wished you had the guts to live out? For me, it was shaving my head. It's unexpected. It defies social norms. It is fun! (hopefully...)

A few weeks ago I told Peter that I should stop toying with the idea and just put it to rest. I wasn't going to shave my head ever and I should get over it. He surprised me by saying I should seriously consider it. I suspect that at first he was just calling my bluff, but true to form, he stood by his words and was genuinely supportive. After a few helpful conversations with some friends, I decided to take the plunge.

After!

I'm not much of a risk taker, but this is a great risk for me. It's not trivial, but it does eventually un-do itself. Motherhood helps you realize life is comprised of phases, which makes it easier to take on a big change. It's only a phase that will eventually pass.

So in addition to hearing about Desmond and my random thoughts on life, I'll now give an occasional reflection on my journey to shave my head and grow it back!

But I STILL love technology. Always and forever.

What goes on in that little head?

When I was little my grandparents would record messages or read books on cassette tapes and mail them to me. My sister and I would send them tapes back. Back then it was a modern twist on the pen-pal concept.

Fast-forward a few decades to the world of Skype. Desmond loves to Skype. He knows most of the sounds and makes sad noises when he hears someone go offline. He's learning family members' names from Skyping with them. He knows which people show him the clocks in their house, which read books to him online, etc. He can tell when a conversation is ending and sometimes pre-empts us with is own "bye-bye."

Maybe Skyping is like the telephone was to me as a kid, except with a moving picture. I don't know how he makes sense of all the things he sees on the computer, but he's definitely integrating it into his understanding of the universe.

Happy Thoughts - Part 3

More Happy Thoughts. (Part 1 and Part 2)

1. Little boys with mohawks
   
2. People feeling at home in your house
3. Putting on high heels
4. Taking off high heels
5. Chopping vegetables, especially without distractions
6. Watching Desmond learn to walk and talk
   
7. Successfully applying mascara on the first try
8. A hairbrush against your scalp after taking your ponytail down
9. Watching the sunlight change throughout the morning in my kitchen window
10. Getting through a workout you didn't think you could do
11. Lentils and burnt onions
12. Shocking people....more to come on this one
    

Scoobabber and Skype

Desmond is at a really fun stage where he's doing all kinds of things that are interesting and cute to me because I know they are new. I'm not sure how fun they are for the rest of the world (minus grandparents and aunts, of course). That's why I haven't written about them much, but I'm going to try. Hopefully I'll improve in the art of toddler story-telling.

Peter worked on the basement one afternoon this weekend. We let Desmond roam around while I kept an eye on him. He was fascinated by Peter and was trying to imitate everything. If Peter used a hammer, Desmond wanted to try. If Peter blew sawdust off a drill hole, Desmond walked around blowing dust off things. He loved the real tools, which was a bit stressful. This also precipitated his first three syllable word, "scoobabber," which is screwdriver for those of you who don't speak Desmond-ese.

Desmond-ese also contains "tao" as telephone, "up" as down, "up" as up, "fuk" a fork. Very cute.

Peter likes to build block towers and Desmond likes to knock them down. A good symbiotic relationship.

He has an obsession for keys and telephones. It now extends to toothbrushing. We let him stand on the rug in our bathroom and "brush his teeth" with an adult toothbrush while we brush ours. Some of his worst meltdowns come when it's time to put the toothbrush away. He must be my child, as I'm a bit obsessed with clean teeth.

I'm grateful for that reassurance because he's also figured out how to put a lid on his sippy cup. I am severely lid-impaired; it's almost embarrassing. Maybe he didn't inherit all of my faults.

I must vacuum and sweep a lot, because he also loves the broom and vacuum cleaner. When I'm vacuuming he wedges himself between me and the vacuum and insists on helping. When I sweep the kitchen, he squats over the pile of dirt and says, "Dirty, dirty, dirty." I know he will eventually be embarrassed to do what his mom does, but for now, I'm grateful.

I have to harness this willingness while it lasts!

The only TV he really watches is Duke basketball games. When a game is on in the afternoon, we sometimes watch it as a family. Desmond now has the right inflection of "Let's Go Duke" and can say "Duke." It's really cute when he says it to himself while trying to fall asleep. (I've tried to get it on video. He refuses to say it while I'm filming, but babbles away after I turn off the camera.) Unfortunately, he's still very impressionable. Uncle Chris had Des saying "Terp" with only 10 minutes of coaching.

As with basement work, Desmond also tried to imitate Peter juggling limes. Have I used "cute" enough yet in this post?

We Skype a lot with family. Since learning how to climb into chairs, Des will climb into the computer chair, say, "Skype, Skype" and sing the Skype connection tune. It's interesting to think about what types of connections kids will make to understand new technology.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I'll dole out the stories at a more even pace in the future!

What's Up with Desmond?

I haven't written about Desmond lately because I'm constantly running to keep up with him. He's very mobile now, walking everywhere and even occasionally trying to walk backwards. Recently he's started climbing into kitchen chairs. We have more "bleeding incidents" than ever before. I'm pretty sure it's adding to my gray hairs.

My favorite part of this age is watching Desmond learn to communicate. He gets so excited when he learns and uses a new word. Some of his favorite words are: no, shoe, clock, truck, mailman, mama, dada, vovo, oh-no, uh-oh, and up (which also means "down" sometimes).

He still loves animals. Several neighbors now make a special effort to let their pets out when Desmond is around so he can play with them.

R.I.P. dear Oliver. Desmond will miss trying to ride you.

Desmond loves trucks. I'm pretty sure Christmas is already his favorite holiday only because of all the delivery trucks parading up and down our street. He's made friends with the mailmen and trash men.

"Mom, stop taking pictures and pick out a tree already!"

Helping Dad hang the lights.

At his last check-up a couple of weeks ago, Desmond stood at 35 inches! One inch short of three feet tall.

Recently Desmond started taking one nap a day. That's been another exhausting adventure for me. I'm definitely still adjusting to having him around so much more. And hopefully his molars will be in by the end of the year. That will make all three of us happier.

I wasn't ready to make all these transitions during the Christmas season when there is so much to get done, but we're rolling with the punches.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Choosing Richness

I have confession to make. Before I became a parent, I remember hearing parents gratitude for small things in life and sometimes thinking it was kind of lame...or at least kind of sad.

For instance, was life as a parent really so tough that you were thankful for a trip alone to the grocery store? Or that waking up at 8 o'clock qualified as the luxury of "sleeping in?" I sometimes thought that life as a parent must be so hard and dreary that these people had drastically lowered their standards for happiness so as not to be bummed about their life of restriction.

You could look at it that way, but I think I was missing something beautiful. The blessings children bring into life are sometimes hard to describe, but they have made my life much deeper and richer than I ever would have imagined. I will admit that life with children has many restrictions. Yet for each restriction there are five more blessings, if you choose to see them.

If you choose to see them.

Recently I've been reminded by my friend Kate N. that we must pay attention in order to see the good things of life. This is more than a psychological exercise in happiness. Choosing to see and appreciate the small joys of life is not lame nor is it lowering your standards. I believe it is a more "real" experience of life.

Having a child helped me go deeper into an attitude of gratefulness, but children are not a pre-requisite for this mentality! Any of us can choose to dwell on the easily-overlooked treasures in our lives. They are waiting to be discovered in all sorts of unexpected places.

So this season, I am thankful for sleeping in until 8 or grocery shopping alone. I'm thankful for the privilege of helping Desmond grow and learn about the world. For walking through life as Peter's friend, partner-in-crime and lover. For the richness that comes through sacrifice for others. For the easy and hard life experiences, and the obvious and hidden blessings.

I am working on choosing to see how each one makes me who I am and makes my life more rich.