Life's a Dance

I live with lots of contradictions in my life. Don't we all? One of these contradictions is that I'm addicted to change, yet as soon as I'm hit with a change I work like crazy to create stability out of it. Despite the fact that I'm always battling to create routine out of change, if my life consisted only of routine tasks I would go crazy!!

For instance, when I started working at TNC I was like a kid in a candy shop. I loved the change in jobs and all the new things I had to learn (there was a lot) in order to function at a basic level. Yet assimilating new information and skills was a means to an end - to make certain problems routine. Making those tasks routine would free me (in theory :-) ) to tackle the new challenges.

This addiction to change will be helpful as a mom. Kids are constantly changing and require you to adapt quickly to their new needs. (As adults we're constantly in flux as well, we just hide it/ignore it better. But that post will have to wait for another day.) Peter and I aren't kidding when we say Desmond changes every few days.

Diapers? We have to fold them a different way now than a week ago. Sleeping? We have to figure out why he now wakes up after three hours at night when before he waited four hours. Crying? Why does he cry inconsolably in the afternoons AND evenings, when in the past it was just the evenings. The list goes on...

What can be frustrating is this new type of problem solving is more of an art form than a science. Since I'm dealing with a little person, there usually isn't a "right" answer. Desmond can't tell me if I'm right or wrong. "Right" answers are especially elusive at 2am. :-) For now I'll take solace in the country song's lyrics,

"Life's a dance you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don't worry about what you don't know.
Life's a dance, you learn as you go."