An Earful

January and February of this year gave Peter and me a run for our money in the parenting department.  Desmond stopped napping for a while and his behavior reflected the loss.  I'm sure there were a lot of other factors at play (a new sister, being three years old, etc.).  It felt like every turn in the day I was battling with him.  It sounds bad.  Battling with your child?  But it really did feel like a constant test to see who would be dominant that day.  It's no fun to be "the heavy" as my dad would say.  But after a couple of months I feel like we won enough battles to convince Desmond that he really did need to obey us.

Fast forward a few more months.  Our newest parenting challenge is really fun and tough.  Desmond is brash and confident that he has the world figured out.  You've heard of 13 going on 30?  Try 3 going on 30.  If we make a decision he doesn't like, more often than not, instead of throwing a tantrum he will try to endlessly argue his position to convince us we are wrong and he is right.

His confidence and persistence are amazing.  His ability to reason through his position make me proud. At some point though, it becomes disrespectful and argumentative.  It's a delicate balance to encourage independent thinking and yet teach discernment as to when obedience and deference to parental authority is required.

Watching Desmond chafe under taking orders from us - especially when he has to submit and do something he doesn't want to do - is like looking into a mirror.  I see how badly I behave in my clever adult ways when I don't get what I want.  How I get angry and sulky when the world doesn't operate on my terms.  It's quite sobering.  My explanations to Desmond about not always getting what we want are also pep talks for myself.