Puzzle Expert

During the last quarter of 2011 Desmond's main interests centered around building things. He built with Legos, with wooden block, with his Georello (thanks Janna!), with about anything he could get his hands on.

We've now moved on to puzzles. Desmond excels at geography puzzles. He has several versions of United States puzzles. Recently a neighbor has begun loaning us puzzles of the continents. It has been a ton of fun doing these with him. I'm re-learning a lot of geography (geography Sporcle, here I come!). It also gives us a natural platform to discuss other countries. It's humbling for me. "No Mom, Montenegro touches the Adriatic Sea, not the Aegean Sea!"

He hasn't learned modesty. (Perhaps it's because he doesn't know the bad form of pride yet?) You'll hear him say, "Oh I don't need help. I'm a puzzle expert. I'm really good at puzzles." I have to admit, he's right most of the time.

Why?

Once upon a time, long long ago before I had a preschooler, I couldn't understand why parents would get complain about their child asking "why" a lot. I mean, "why" is one of the best questions out there!

I'm really enjoying all of Desmond's "why" questions, but they do get exhausting. For instance at the end of a long day, our conversation ranged across questions like:

- Are people in Afghanistan nice?

- Why do we buy our yogurt? (Grandma makes hers)

- Why would people loan other people their stuff?

At this last question, worn out, I muttered, "I don't know." Desmond stopped everything, glared at me and said, "Mom you DO know. You know everything. Please don't say 'I don't know.' I REALLY need to know the answers."

How can that not warm your heart? I'm trying to suck it up and give thoughtful answers.

His "joking" lecture face.

Angry Bear

Apparently the bear outfit isn't very popular. Can you tell which one is Desmond and which is Charlotte?

Did the old couch probably give it away? Desmond is on top and Charlotte is on the bottom.

Third Month

Sleeping next to my birthday flowers, snuggled under Gran's blanket.

Learning to reach for things with Aunt Meg's "Ms. Whosit" (which reminds me of Wrinkle in Time).

Enjoying the mild winter. I normally love snow and cold temperatures,
but was grateful for a mild winter with a newborn.

2011 - A Year of Questions

2011 has been a year of questioning for me. There have been precious few sacred cows that haven't come under my scrutiny. It's been exhausting and scary. It's difficult to question things well. Deciphering what your true doubts are, seeking real answers, discerning when you must accept uncertainty takes emotional, spiritual and sometimes even physical energy, especially when you're questioning things that are really important to you and your worldview.

Before this year, I viewed myself as having a fairly large gray area of beliefs - at least for a Christian. By "gray area" I mean issues where there isn't a clear answer, even if I have a leaning towards a stance, I can't say for sure it's correct. This year's wandering have forced me to consider that perhaps that area of gray should be even larger. At one point, I realized I should be seeking levels of confidence, not certainty, on a lot of issues. (Spoken like a statistician, right?)

People who are supremely confident in their beliefs have irked me at times. In reality though, I'm mostly just jealous. I miss "knowing what I know." I've had to go through a bit of a grieving period in trying to let it go.

After months of wrestling, I at least know what some of my questions are. It's a little discouraging that's all the progress I've made. With a newborn in the house, I'm in survival mode and don't have the energy to deal with it. I hope this year wasn't in vain. I hope I won't abandon my quest, but will just pause for a while. I hope I'll have the courage to continue.

Second Month

I think my relatives just about had a heart attack when we received this dress for Charlotte at Christmas and I exclaimed that this was her first dress. :-) While I don't think we'll have more children, if we did I would remind myself that for the first three months, I prefer to keep babies (at least winter babies) mostly in their PJ's. It's just easier. I had forgotten how stressful it is to pull little arms and legs through all those clothes!

First dress.

I love seeing the difference in head size in this one.

This is the quintessential sibling photo....he begged to hold her
while I took a picture of them, yet they both aren't crazy about the idea.

First smiles

Being the second child didn't diminish the joy of having Charlotte start to smile. Making a baby smile is one of the happiest things in the world. All of my insides just lit up with happiness to watch her begin to smile.

Foot Cuddle

It's tough to let a three year old love on a newborn. At first, it mostly looked like this:

Then Desmond came up with a way he could cuddle with Charlotte without me. It looked like this:

We're calling it "foot cuddling." We spent about half an hour listening to music and foot cuddling this morning. It is heart warming to see Desmond so excited to be able to interact with his sister. In the meantime, she's carefree, oblivious to the "loving" dangers all around her.

First Month

We were fortunate to have family in town the first couple weeks after Charlotte's birth. Thankfully my recovery from the c-section was much smoother this time. It's amazing how much more you enjoy having a new baby around when you aren't experiencing surgery complications for yourself.

Snuggling and reading. I went through a nostalgic phase and re-read
a lot of my old favorite Madeline L'Engle books.

Best. Idea. Ever. Stephanie made up a little bed for Charlotte in this plastic container. It let us set her on the dining room table to sleep and easily carry her up and down stairs without waking her. Putting her in the box (uncovered of course!) also helped Desmond respect Charlotte's space while he adjusted to having a delicate baby around. She is just on the verge of out growing it in this photo. Thankfully I remembered to take a photo before she totally out grew it.

It was harder this time for me to restart using cloth diapers. I suppose the novelty was gone. But I slowly worked back into it. And I'm super grateful to be reusing Desmond's diapers with Charlotte.

A Birth Story

NOTE: We are going to rewind the clock and replay the past few months via the blog as I catch up on what the kids have been up to.

I'm going to share Charlotte's birth story. For those of you who are squeamish, read on.

November 3rd. My mom arrives to watch Desmond. Peter and I go out to Sweetwater for dinner. I eat more than humanly possible. We come home, I drink a glass of wine (nurse's "orders") and sleep soundly the whole night through.

Novmeber 4th. Wake up. Shower. Drive to hospital. At 9:03am, they cut me open. At 9:13am Charlotte Fern is born.

Story over.

Ah the joys of a scheduled c-section. It's not what I would ideally wish for, but it's my situation, so I make the best of it. (Note: Now that Charlotte is four months old, I look back on her birth and don't feel the ambiguous feelings of regret over the c-section that I felt at the time. Just having a healthy, thriving baby is really what is important.)

I must say, it is *fascinating* to experience a major surgery while awake. To listen to all the doctors and nurses work together so efficiently and smoothly. To hear their small talk as they sew you up. A medical student was observing, so I got to hear their instructive comments to her.

This time around I was actually more nervous than last time. Probably because I wasn't exhausted from 12 hours of (mild) labor. I was nervous the spinal tap would wear off in the middle of the surgery. Nervous that I would get a blood clot. Nervous that Charlotte wouldn't be OK. As soon as I heard her crying, all my fears dissolved and I could "relax." (A funny thing to say when you can't feel 75% of you body anyway.)

The weirdest part of the whole process was to feel them pushing and pulling on your mid-section. It didn't hurt at all, but I suspected someone was behind the curtain whacking me with a baseball bat and doing push-ups on my stomach. I kept thinking, "Surely that will hurt later." It did, but not that badly.

I think I mentioned this when Desmond was born, but it deserves repeating. The staff at INOVA Fairfax Hospital are incredible. They do their jobs thoroughly, professionally, excellently and without a hint of complaining (at least to the patients). It was inspiring to both Peter and me to be served by them.

Real Kids

While listening to the Forrest Gump Suite:

DK: This song is nice and quiet and peaceful.

KK: Yeah, I like it. Does it make you feel quiet and peaceful?

DK: No Mom. I'm a real kid.

Sad Things

Overheard while the grandparents were in town:

Babci: It's time to go inside.

DK: I don't want to. It makes me sad to go inside.

Babci: There are a lot of things in life we have to do that make us sad.

DK: Yeah. Like taking back library books.

Des and Vovô going outside.

Note: "Babci" means grandmother in Polish, "Vovô" is grandfather in Portuguese. It's what Desmond calls Peter's folks.

A Mighty Fortress

We bought a new dresser for Charlotte's room. The delivery men left the box. Box + 3 year old = lots o' fun. Peter and Des made a pretty cool multi-part fort that wraps around the sofa, complete with multiple look-outs, windows, skylights and doors.

Of course, not everything comes natural to all kids. Once inside Desmond said, "This is AWESOME.....uh, now what do I do in here?"

Week in Photos

Musical Expression

Desmond is in love with listening music. More or less than most kids, I don't know. It's been a fun development over the past few months. When he hears a song he likes, we let him add it to "Desmond's Playlist." It's not kids' music either - country, rap, soundtracks, indie, religious, classical all make the cut.

Nothing related to music....I just never posted a Halloween photo.

Some of the fascinating aspects of this:

• Emotional expression - He notices that songs have different feelings associated with them. The idea that Peter and I may think a song has a different feeling (hopeful vs. melancholy) blew his mind. It's fun to try to teach that people interpret art differently and that's part of its beauty. I've also been challenged to expand my own emotional vocabulary. Happy and sad just don't cut it. But it's also tough to explain the complexities of bittersweet, resentful, joyous, etc. to a kid. Tough, but fun. Emotional expression is my favorite part of this whole topic.
  
  
• Musical vocabulary - Des enjoys being able to describe the non-emotive aspects of a song. Words like vocals, lyrics, instrumental, names of instruments, rhythm, etc. I can tell he likes the power of being able to categorize what he is hearing.
  
  
• Language learning - He can recognize the artist and song title of over 30 songs on his playlist, regardless of the order. I know he isn't "reading" yet and has probably just memorized these details. I do think this is part of a stepping stone in his path to literacy.

And since this blog is partially for Desmond's future keepsake, here are some of the songs currently on his playlist. I think he has pretty good taste. You should check them out!

Montgomery Gentry - Gone

Dierks Bentley - Sideways

K-O's - Crabbuckit

Rusted Root - Send Me On My Way

Natasha Bedingfield - Strip Me

Decemberists - Sons and Daughters

Kanye West - Jesus Walks

Celtic Worship - Be Thou My Vision

Keith Green - Holy, Holy, Holy

Forrest Gump Suite

Ennio Moricone - Songs from "The Mission"

Eddie From Ohio - Number Six Driver

Slow Club - Christmas TV

Lady Gaga - Alejandro, Poker Face, Just Dance

Beyonce - If I Were a Boy, Halo, Single Ladies

Natalie Walker - Colorblind

Rockabye Baby - Just Breathe

Charlotte Fern

It happened! Charlotte Fern Kraft arrived into the world on November 4th, 2011 at 9:13am weighing 8lbs 5oz at 20.75 inches long.

I'm not even sure where to begin with my thoughts about this little girl. Having Desmond has taught me how to love babies. Loving him and watching him grow into a fantastic three year old somehow makes me love baby Charlotte all the more. It's easier for me to slow down and just enjoy holding her, marveling that just a few days ago she was "alive" inside of me.

After Desmond's one week stay in the NICU, it was sheer joy to cuddle Charlotte while in the hospital. Once again, the staff at INOVA Fairfax hospital gave us excellent care. They seem to really enjoy their jobs and do them well. Peter and I both found inspiration in their excellence.

Desmond has been excited and kind to his little sister so far.
He speaks to her in the sweetest voice. It brings tears to my eyes.

So we have a newborn. Wow. I have no clue how anything will ever get done without family around to help. I see other families do it, but cannot fathom how it will ever happen here again. But as Scarlett O'Hara said, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow."

For those of you who didn't learn about this via email, Peter issued the geek challenge (see below) to figure out Charlotte's details. Carl M. won the bitcoin prize by submitting the first correct answer. He has generously donated his bitcoin to Charlotte's college fund. :-)

-------------- The Peter Challenge --------------

Now for the geeky part.  The reward for the first correct answer is 1 bitcoin.

Birth time = base64 decode the following: OToxMyBBTSAtIE5vdmVtYmVyIDR0aCwgMjAxMQo=  

Birth weight = A xor B, where...

A = Charlotte Fern Kraft - (A is a byte stream represented by 8-bit padded ASCII, trimmed whitespace)

B = e0gRHRkBEAdLDmhFR05PPhwCAwc= - (B is a byte stream represented by base64 encoded data)

Aunt Meg and Uncle Ryan

Aunt Meg and Uncle Ryan came to visit a couple of weeks ago. Besides from being incredibly useful to the adults (mopping, painting, etc.), they also lavished the love on Desmond.

It's fun watching Desmond's sense of humor develop. He made "jokes" all weekend about "Aunt Meggie-poo" or "Uncle Rynee-poo." He also started picking up on when other people were making jokes more quickly than he used to. All in all, it was a really fun weekend together.

Sword fighting.

Angry Birds meets real-life.

Fun at the playground.

Gussied up for a baby luncheon at Sweetwater.

Cutie

Just a few more days left of our mom-dad-Desmond trio.

Fall Leaves

No autumn would be complete without some leaf jumping.

Aunt Katie

Aunt Katie stayed with us for a while a couple of months ago as she worked on getting all the appropriate visas for her far-flung life. (Seriously, she will kick your butt at the Sporcle country quiz.)

One of the most fun parts of her stay (other than having someone to do all the bending involved in unloading the dishwasher - THANK YOU!) was watching her and Desmond hang out. Katie reintroduced the love of a dance party into our lives. She played endless games, read endless books (especially Frieght Train), and let Desmond hover as she developed her new blog , CulturTwined, and did other "boring" computer work. (Although now he will ask, "Can I pleeeease help do some boring work on the computer?")

I've come to realize that whether our family is physically near or far, our lives don't often afford us a chance to just live life with one another. It makes me cherish these moments all the more when Desmond (and soon-to-be little sister) get to see family.

A Confession

I've been hiding something from you. For the past three months, Desmond and my average wake-up time has been around 8:15am. I didn't sleep that late when I was a "working" woman! It started somewhere in July. Usually I would adjust our schedule and try to get him back up on a 7:30-ish wake-up time. (It makes the day flow a little easier.) But then I started thinking...

In three or four months now five weeks I will have a NEWBORN. I will not sleep well for a year. I will be so sleep deprived that when I do actually sleep, it will be so deeply and desparately that I might dislocate my shoulder. (This actually happened when Des was a baby.) Neither riches nor chocolates will compete with the thought of a full night's sleep.

I would be insane to willingly give up sleep now, just for the convenience of some self-imposed schedule. As the discomforts of third trimester pregnancy try to rob me of precious sleep, I am zealously embracing my late wake-ups and secretly wondering if Desmond's natural inclination to sleep late seals his fate to be an engineer. And parents of newborns, don't hate me. I'll be joining you soon.