Loving the World Enough to Change It

I've started writing about a dozen posts in my head during the past month. Somehow I never get around to actually typing them. To be honest, I've just been having too much fun living life lately to stop and write about it. We barely even took any photographs during the past month!

So instead of reading about my thoughts on my shaved head, Desmond, spring, etc., here's an excerpt from "Orthodoxy," by G. K. Chesterson that is in a Lenten devotional I've enjoyed this week:

"What we need is not the cold acceptance of the world as a compromise, but some way in which we can heartily hate and heartily love it. We do not want joy and anger to neutralize each other and produce a surly contentment we want a fiercer delight and a fiercer discontent. We have to feel the universe at once as an ogre's castle, to be stormed, and yet as our own cottage, to which we can return at evening.

No one doubts that an ordinary man can get on with this world...[But] can he hate it enough to change it, and yet love it enough to think it worth changing?"

Rollin' Dope

Desmond and I have stumbled into a new morning routine. We go upstairs to wake up Peter, then the three of us lay on the bed and sing songs together. We try to mix it up, doing stuff like The Itsy Bitsy Spider, These Are a Few of My Favorite Things, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, etc.

By far Desmond's favorite is Row, Row, Row Your Boat. It's the only one he tries to sing. According to Desmond, it goes something like this:

Roll, roll, roll dope.....

Romeo

Apparently we have a real Romeo on our hands. I'm not sure where he gets it from; Peter and I aren't really what anyone would call romantic. Maybe it's from his grandfather.

Isn't this the face of a little Romeo?

Yesterday we went to a Valentine pancake breakfast for families with young kids. It was the first time Desmond and I had left the neighborhood in over a week because of the snow. We were both super-excited. Peter even got up early so we could all go together. As Peter and I ate our pancakes, a cute little girl about Desmond's age wandered up to our table and stared at us for a bit. Des insisted on getting off my lap to see her. He got down, waved to her, then leaned forward and said, "Kiss! Kiss!" He leaned in and kissed her! He proceeded to follow her around for a minute or two, trying to smooch her every time she stopped. He's never been that excited to kiss Peter or me.

I guess romance is in the air. Happy Valentine's Day!

How to Eat an Elephant

Q: How do you eat an elephant?

A: One bite at a time.

It's an understatement to say we've had a lot of snow this winter. It has been the snowiest winter ever on record for DC. I'm a total snow-glutton, so it was heaven for me, especially since Peter got four days off. We shoveled night and day to dig out. I decided we should calculate how many pounds of snow we have moved in the past week. I suspect these are conservative estimates since we helped other people shovel. Here it goes:

Square Footage

Stoop and Sidewalk: 4ft wide x 60 ft length = 240 sq. ft

Two Parking Spots: 9ft wide x 20ft long x 2 (cars) = 360 sq. ft

Total square footage: 600 sq. ft

Weighing a bin of snow determined that the snow weighed 10.65 lbs/cubic foot

There were 24 inches of snow from the first storm and 8 inches from the second; 2 2/3 ft of total snow accumulation.

(600 sq. ft)*(2 2/3 ft)*(10.65 lbs/cubic foot) = 17,040 lbs of snow moved!

Pre-shoveling - cars, mailboxes, the road - none of them are very distinguishable.

Notice the height of the piles in comparison to the car and to the house windows.

An average adult elephant weighs around 12,000 lbs. I guess it's an understatement to say we know how to eat an elephant.

Truth Lurking

I really like the Indigo Girls. As a teenager, Molly A. and I would lay on her roof listening to them as we watched the stars and talked late into the night. My appreciation of their music has not only lasted into adulthood, but changed as I have. In fact, I bought a new Indigo Girls CD after I had Desmond and found great solace and inspiration listening to it as he would cry and cry during those rough, early months.

What is it about them that affects me so deeply? I think it's because as I listen I often find myself worshiping Jesus. A little surprising, neh?

Their songs express the struggles of life with such beauty and honesty. The struggles of discovering yourself, of wrestling with being different, of demanding why the world isn't as it should be, of rejoicing in the beauty of the world when it IS as it should be.

22 Words posted this:

"Deal with Christianity's ideas and you'll either leave the faith or understand those who do. Being merely appalled at apostasy doesn’t come from strong faith. We need to also empathize, because we’re suffering through the same questions."

Christian or not, can't you feel the truth in the statement, "we're suffering through the same questions." Deep down aren't we all looking for significance? Trying to make sense of our world? Grasping to understand the truths of the universe. When we get a taste of Truth, doesn't it make you hunger for more?

I'm grateful for the unusual places Truth lurks.

How It Came Off

Our friends Sarah and Graham Marsden came over to commemorate the event. They snapped photos and gave me moral support while Peter manned the buzzer.

Desmond still recognizes this as a photo of "mama."

Need more ponytails. Can't waste any hair that will be donated.

Snip, snip, they're falling!

Surreal. I never wanted to turn back, but that didn't dull the shock and
nervousness flowing through my whole body.

Bring on the sas (not that kind of SAS). I've never had really short hair before.
Maybe this photo is a foretaste of what is to come.

Should I go European?

Nah, take it all off!

Our feet share an intimate moment.

It's done! I felt liberated and exhilarated.

The people with the least hair in our home.
Now to practice with the make-up so people know I do actually have eyebrows.

P.S. Check out Graham and Sarah's fantastic work as Marsden Media!

The Big Shave

Before

Have you ever had a crazy yet attainable dream you wished you had the guts to live out? For me, it was shaving my head. It's unexpected. It defies social norms. It is fun! (hopefully...)

A few weeks ago I told Peter that I should stop toying with the idea and just put it to rest. I wasn't going to shave my head ever and I should get over it. He surprised me by saying I should seriously consider it. I suspect that at first he was just calling my bluff, but true to form, he stood by his words and was genuinely supportive. After a few helpful conversations with some friends, I decided to take the plunge.

After!

I'm not much of a risk taker, but this is a great risk for me. It's not trivial, but it does eventually un-do itself. Motherhood helps you realize life is comprised of phases, which makes it easier to take on a big change. It's only a phase that will eventually pass.

So in addition to hearing about Desmond and my random thoughts on life, I'll now give an occasional reflection on my journey to shave my head and grow it back!

But I STILL love technology. Always and forever.

What goes on in that little head?

When I was little my grandparents would record messages or read books on cassette tapes and mail them to me. My sister and I would send them tapes back. Back then it was a modern twist on the pen-pal concept.

Fast-forward a few decades to the world of Skype. Desmond loves to Skype. He knows most of the sounds and makes sad noises when he hears someone go offline. He's learning family members' names from Skyping with them. He knows which people show him the clocks in their house, which read books to him online, etc. He can tell when a conversation is ending and sometimes pre-empts us with is own "bye-bye."

Maybe Skyping is like the telephone was to me as a kid, except with a moving picture. I don't know how he makes sense of all the things he sees on the computer, but he's definitely integrating it into his understanding of the universe.

Happy Thoughts - Part 3

More Happy Thoughts. (Part 1 and Part 2)

1. Little boys with mohawks
   
2. People feeling at home in your house
3. Putting on high heels
4. Taking off high heels
5. Chopping vegetables, especially without distractions
6. Watching Desmond learn to walk and talk
   
7. Successfully applying mascara on the first try
8. A hairbrush against your scalp after taking your ponytail down
9. Watching the sunlight change throughout the morning in my kitchen window
10. Getting through a workout you didn't think you could do
11. Lentils and burnt onions
12. Shocking people....more to come on this one
    

Scoobabber and Skype

Desmond is at a really fun stage where he's doing all kinds of things that are interesting and cute to me because I know they are new. I'm not sure how fun they are for the rest of the world (minus grandparents and aunts, of course). That's why I haven't written about them much, but I'm going to try. Hopefully I'll improve in the art of toddler story-telling.

Peter worked on the basement one afternoon this weekend. We let Desmond roam around while I kept an eye on him. He was fascinated by Peter and was trying to imitate everything. If Peter used a hammer, Desmond wanted to try. If Peter blew sawdust off a drill hole, Desmond walked around blowing dust off things. He loved the real tools, which was a bit stressful. This also precipitated his first three syllable word, "scoobabber," which is screwdriver for those of you who don't speak Desmond-ese.

Desmond-ese also contains "tao" as telephone, "up" as down, "up" as up, "fuk" a fork. Very cute.

Peter likes to build block towers and Desmond likes to knock them down. A good symbiotic relationship.

He has an obsession for keys and telephones. It now extends to toothbrushing. We let him stand on the rug in our bathroom and "brush his teeth" with an adult toothbrush while we brush ours. Some of his worst meltdowns come when it's time to put the toothbrush away. He must be my child, as I'm a bit obsessed with clean teeth.

I'm grateful for that reassurance because he's also figured out how to put a lid on his sippy cup. I am severely lid-impaired; it's almost embarrassing. Maybe he didn't inherit all of my faults.

I must vacuum and sweep a lot, because he also loves the broom and vacuum cleaner. When I'm vacuuming he wedges himself between me and the vacuum and insists on helping. When I sweep the kitchen, he squats over the pile of dirt and says, "Dirty, dirty, dirty." I know he will eventually be embarrassed to do what his mom does, but for now, I'm grateful.

I have to harness this willingness while it lasts!

The only TV he really watches is Duke basketball games. When a game is on in the afternoon, we sometimes watch it as a family. Desmond now has the right inflection of "Let's Go Duke" and can say "Duke." It's really cute when he says it to himself while trying to fall asleep. (I've tried to get it on video. He refuses to say it while I'm filming, but babbles away after I turn off the camera.) Unfortunately, he's still very impressionable. Uncle Chris had Des saying "Terp" with only 10 minutes of coaching.

As with basement work, Desmond also tried to imitate Peter juggling limes. Have I used "cute" enough yet in this post?

We Skype a lot with family. Since learning how to climb into chairs, Des will climb into the computer chair, say, "Skype, Skype" and sing the Skype connection tune. It's interesting to think about what types of connections kids will make to understand new technology.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I'll dole out the stories at a more even pace in the future!

What's Up with Desmond?

I haven't written about Desmond lately because I'm constantly running to keep up with him. He's very mobile now, walking everywhere and even occasionally trying to walk backwards. Recently he's started climbing into kitchen chairs. We have more "bleeding incidents" than ever before. I'm pretty sure it's adding to my gray hairs.

My favorite part of this age is watching Desmond learn to communicate. He gets so excited when he learns and uses a new word. Some of his favorite words are: no, shoe, clock, truck, mailman, mama, dada, vovo, oh-no, uh-oh, and up (which also means "down" sometimes).

He still loves animals. Several neighbors now make a special effort to let their pets out when Desmond is around so he can play with them.

R.I.P. dear Oliver. Desmond will miss trying to ride you.

Desmond loves trucks. I'm pretty sure Christmas is already his favorite holiday only because of all the delivery trucks parading up and down our street. He's made friends with the mailmen and trash men.

"Mom, stop taking pictures and pick out a tree already!"

Helping Dad hang the lights.

At his last check-up a couple of weeks ago, Desmond stood at 35 inches! One inch short of three feet tall.

Recently Desmond started taking one nap a day. That's been another exhausting adventure for me. I'm definitely still adjusting to having him around so much more. And hopefully his molars will be in by the end of the year. That will make all three of us happier.

I wasn't ready to make all these transitions during the Christmas season when there is so much to get done, but we're rolling with the punches.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!

Choosing Richness

I have confession to make. Before I became a parent, I remember hearing parents gratitude for small things in life and sometimes thinking it was kind of lame...or at least kind of sad.

For instance, was life as a parent really so tough that you were thankful for a trip alone to the grocery store? Or that waking up at 8 o'clock qualified as the luxury of "sleeping in?" I sometimes thought that life as a parent must be so hard and dreary that these people had drastically lowered their standards for happiness so as not to be bummed about their life of restriction.

You could look at it that way, but I think I was missing something beautiful. The blessings children bring into life are sometimes hard to describe, but they have made my life much deeper and richer than I ever would have imagined. I will admit that life with children has many restrictions. Yet for each restriction there are five more blessings, if you choose to see them.

If you choose to see them.

Recently I've been reminded by my friend Kate N. that we must pay attention in order to see the good things of life. This is more than a psychological exercise in happiness. Choosing to see and appreciate the small joys of life is not lame nor is it lowering your standards. I believe it is a more "real" experience of life.

Having a child helped me go deeper into an attitude of gratefulness, but children are not a pre-requisite for this mentality! Any of us can choose to dwell on the easily-overlooked treasures in our lives. They are waiting to be discovered in all sorts of unexpected places.

So this season, I am thankful for sleeping in until 8 or grocery shopping alone. I'm thankful for the privilege of helping Desmond grow and learn about the world. For walking through life as Peter's friend, partner-in-crime and lover. For the richness that comes through sacrifice for others. For the easy and hard life experiences, and the obvious and hidden blessings.

I am working on choosing to see how each one makes me who I am and makes my life more rich.

Deceptive Futility

As I cleaned out bits of food from the high chair for the ump-teenth time last week, I was reflecting on how futile it seemed. I would be cleaning out the same high chair again just a few hours later. Why bother?

There are a lot of things in parenting that seem futile. Repeating admonitions. "No touch." "Stay downstairs." Tackling the unending mountain of laundry. And diapers. And dishes. Did I mention the diapers?

Occasionally though, I get a glimpse of the importance of all these things.

Case in point, I get rather angry when Desmond is difficult at mealtime. I've learned to stop and take a deep breath when my frustration gets too high. Recently, I put the spoon down, closed my eyes and took a nice long breath. Feeling calmer, I opened my eyes to see Desmond smiling at me. He proceeded to take a deep breath and imitate me blowing it out slowly. We both cracked up.

I had no clue he notices those kinds of things. I'm glad he's imitating me doing that rather than throwing a spoon down. (He certainly doesn't need encouragement there!)

What else might he pick up from my daily habits? It's a reminder to persevere in tackling the dull, repetitive, "futile" parts of life with an attitude of excellence. And it's an encouragement to see them as a service to God and to little watching eyes.

(P.S. I may try to faithfully wipe down high chairs, but I still think making a bed is futile unless you live in a dorm room!)

Playing in the Leaves

This is for those of you who liked the other picture book post.

Who put me in a pile of itchy leaves? This is a terrible idea!

If I keep my hands high enough, maybe I won't have to touch this rotting mess.

Hmmm, the leaves do make a nice crunchy sound...perhaps I should reconsider.

Wait, this is a lot of fun! These people might actually know what they're doing.

New Frontiers

Desmond took his first few steps on Tuesday. He surprised me by sliding off my lap and stumbling over to his crib to get Thing 2 and then walking back to me. He has also dramatically increased the number of face-plants he does each day. Good for our little adventurer.

Sometimes when it rains it sometimes pours developmentally speaking. As I was making lunch today I turned around and saw this:

He has never successfully climbed on top of the couch before. A whole new world of "no touch" has opened up.

In other news, Peter and I are off to Dallas this weekend to see Sonia and Ian get married. We are going ALONE(!!), while Larry and Stephanie watch Desmond. This week I turned to Peter and excitedly said, "I can't wait for the flight. Four hours of reading when I want to, lingering over my drink, napping or going to the bathroom when I want to! We could even be delayed and it's not that big of a deal." Ah, how parenthood changes your outlook on life.

The World Is Too Much With Us

Something I've been thinking about lately.

The World Is Too Much With Us
by William Wordsworth

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. —Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

Halloween Indecision

Desmond thought about being a lion for Halloween.

Then he considered going as the spawn of Little Red Riding Hood.

Finally he settled on being some cool-cat Leopard.

He practiced sharing candy with Daddy.

Eventually decided that it was time to get his tail in bed.

Thing One, Thing Two

My dad gave Desmond a stuffed elephant when he was first born. It was originally from my dad and Sandra, but once Dad likened it to the Republican Party mascot, Sandra quickly withdrew her support. :-)

Desmond has become quite attached to the elephant. It's his security toy for sleeping. Every time he sees it, his face lights up and he races to give it a hug or kiss. It's quite cute.

I'm so grateful for something that helps him sleep well, I recently bought a back-up in case tragedy strikes. Desmond took it for a test run and found it acceptable. We may not have our life insurance situation figured out, but at least we've got a back-up elephant.

Until Des gets a competing political mascot, Republicans rule his crib.

Fractals

Desmond is showing increasing interest in the world around him. He particularly loves animals. It's a lot of fun to watch his face light up when he spots a dog, cat, squirrel, bird, etc.

He's also noticing things on the walls in the house a lot more. It's fun to teach him names of different things in his room. Like fish. Or map. Or fractal.

Oh yeah, did I ever mention we had a fractal blown up into poster size and frames for his room? I think decorating the baby's room is mostly for the parents. So as we prepared for Desmond, I decided that I wanted something that I thought both Desmond and I would find interesting. There's a cool site called Zazzle where you can purchase posters of fractals.

I should probably start working on my explanation of a fractal now...

Mini Books

I didn't realize Desmond's birthday cards would be gifts that kept on giving. He "re-reads" them almost every day. He gets so excited about them, I haven't had the heart to pack them away yet. I guess those keepsakes will be a little worse for the wear...but all the more loved!