Gangster Des

Are you talkin' to me?

"I'll beat you both together. I'll beat you both apart!"

That's right...I didn't think you wanted a piece of this.

Food Makes Family

Something special happens when people share food. Eating together, cooking together or giving food to someone creates a special moment. This is why I love cooking for people. My cooking isn't flashy or fancy, but it is a way to share sustenance with people - both through food and through conversation.

That's why it's been particularly touching to me to have people bring us meals when we were in the hospital and after Desmond came home. A special kind of warmth radiated from the meals. The gift of food speaks volumes to the country-girl in me.

On a more practical note, I've also learned a lot of new approaches to portable meals - enchiladas, chili, ham and feta pasta, tamale pie, sloppy joes, wild rice chicken casserole, pork stew, etc. I even tasted cookies from a purple ribbon winner in a 4-H competition! (For those of you who don't know, as I didn't, a purple ribbon is even better than a blue ribbon. It's like saying "this is absolutely the best", not just "this is the best out of this competition".) I've really beefed up (no pun intended) my list of potential meals to take to folks.

Thank you to everyone who has helped us so far, whether through food or other means! And to our DC friends - you need to start having more babies so I can bring you some food!!

Feeding Fun

We had an exciting weekend. My mom, Judy, visited for the weekend. We cooked a ton of meals to freeze. She also let Peter and I go out while she watched Des for a few hours. Even though I missed the little guy by the end of the evening, it was great to have an adult-only outing to celebrate Sonia J's birthday!. Historically Peter and I don't do "dates" very well. People insist that we need to make sure to have adult-time now that we have a kid. We're trying to figure out what that looks like for us. This was a good start.

Des also took his a bottle from Peter. I thought he might balk since he hasn't had a bottle since the hospital, but he was very compliant. Peter enjoyed getting to participate in the feeding fun.


On top of all that excitement I also went jogging for the first time in several months. Jogging is probably a generous term...it was more like a slow lope. Still, it provided enough endorphins to be in a goofy-happy haze for several hours!

Snap, Crackle, Pop

Anyone who has worked with me, lived with me or spent any significant time around me knows that practically every joint in my body pops. Somehow even my nose can pop. Yeah, it's weird.

We've heard a faint pop a couple of times when picking up Desmond. I don't know if this is normal for babies or not. Considering his mom can sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies, I wouldn't be surprised if it was indeed a joint popping. Hopefully someday he will have patient friends like his mom who will put up with all of his popping.

Desmond likes pushing himself around on the play mat in the mornings.

Babies and hats...too cute!!

Brave Dads

Desmond is now 9 pounds! Good growth from his birth weight of 7 lbs. 11 oz.

I'm discovering there are a lot of great things about the way that husbands take care of babies. Peter is willing to do a test run at all the things that scare me. He was the first to cut Desmond's fingernails, to give him a bath, to burp him vigorously, swaddle him tightly etc. Basically, if there's a task that intimidates me, Peter steps up to the plate and tries it first. I'm so grateful I don't have to do this parenting thing alone!

New Every Morning

Recently I read a great quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered by your old nonsense."

There is some great truth in this quote. As I pondered it, I realized it reminded me of a Bible verse from Lamentations about God's mercy being new every morning.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."

The beauty in both of these quotes is that our present and future doesn't have to be governed by our past. The Bible verse brings out the fact that we can't do it on our own. It's through God's grace and compassion for us that we can abandon our old ways and not be fated to repeat them. I'm so grateful I don't have to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Instead I can exist in the beautiful mystery of where obedience to God and his mercy and grace towards me meet.

This truth has been a great encouragement to me lately as I have so many new things to figure out in life.

Waking up together one morning.

Return of the Belly Button

A lot of weird things happen to your body when pregnant. Some things are more publicized than others, probably to ensure that the human race continues to propagate. :-) One of the changes that freaked me out the most was having my belly button pop out. I know - pretty irrational. But for some reason I felt vulnerable having the little guy sticking out when he should be sticking in. Maybe it stemmed from watching The Matrix too much. (Come on, I'm sure you remember the belly button scene.)


All of this gives you context to understand my relief of the past week as I noticed that my belly button is indeed returning to his "innie" state, just like everyone told me it would. I guess I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it.
____________________
P.S. Hmmm, I just realized I call my belly button a "he." Is there a literary term for assigning gender to a gender-neutral object?

Four Generations

Desmond's great-grandparents (Larry's folks) visited for a short while this weekend. It was cute to see four generations of Krafts together. It was the first time Desmond wore a collared shirt. He didn't seem to mind it as much as his father does. ;-)

Four generations of Kraft men - Larry, PopPop, Peter and Desmond

MomMom enjoys holding Des in the rocker my dad gave us.

Six Blissful Days

Today marks Desmond's 6th day at home. He's gained back more than his birth weight and is very strong. We're thrilled at his good health. Unfortunately, my (Katharine) recovery has been slowed by a small hematoma along my incision. So we'll be doing some intense wound care for several weeks, which is rather painful but manageable.



This week we've been busy with the usual activities of diapering, feeding, rocking, not sleeping, etc. It's amazing how quickly your life changes - emotionally, physically and spiritually - all within such a short timespan. As our friend Dave A. said after the birth of their daughter 4 days before Desmond was born, "It's totally worth it." I couldn't agree more.

This may sound odd, but Peter and I were kind of looking forward to the sacrifices that accompany parenthood. The first six years of our marriage have been so much fun. We've delighted in getting to know one another better. There have been so many adventures we've had together and challenges we've overcome together. It's been amazing.

In the past year we started to get the feeling that life was a bit too easy. A bit too centered around pleasing our own desires. It seemed we needed a revolution of some sort. Revolution comes in many forms; ours arrived under the name of Desmond.

God calls us to put others before ourselves. Parenting is a beautiful expression of this concept. Peter and I are reminding ourselves of this high calling as we deal with the loss of continuous sleep, the reconfiguring of relationships, and the uncertainty of the future. I'm grateful for our wonderful son. It makes facing this new challenge a true joy.

Just one more day

After a week long technology hiatus, I'm mass communicating again! Thankfully Peter has been in much better shape than I have to keep everyone posted on the events of the past week. Despite the challenges of having Desmond spend time in the NICU, it has still been one of the coolest experiences of my life.

The exciting news is that Desmond is now out of the NICU and staying in the regular nursery at the hospital. The doctors want him to finish his antibiotics treatment and then will let him come home Monday evening!

In some ways, I feel like we've had parent-training wheels on during the past week. At first Desmond was closely monitored in the NICU, where nurses did everything for him at first. Then slowly let us change a diaper or give him a bottle here or there. Now that Desmond is in the regular nursery, we are allowed to do everything for him. I'm sure it will sound crazy to me later, but that was a welcome change for us. It feels like we have at least some limited control over his care. Then tomorrow, off come the training wheels and we're on our own!

As for me, I'm recovering really well. It's been a bit overwhelming leaving the hospital and going home, but our family is taking really good care of Peter and me. I won't go into many details about my C-section here, but if you want to know the details just ask me. I will say that I forgot to breathe a few times on the operating table, which gave the nurses a bit of a scare. The slightly morbid side of me found the whole surgery process pretty fascinating.

Thanks for all the supportive emails and phone calls you've sent us. When I was still in the hospital, Peter would read the emails out loud to me each night. It is incredibly comforting and encouraging to have so many people rejoice with us over Desmond's birth.

Hmmmm... As I write this, Peter is holding Desmond and we have just heard his first audible fart. I never thought a fart would sound cute. :-)

We're home

Katharine and I came home from the hospital today (Friday). It definitely felt weird to come home without our son, but the car seat is ready to go as soon as he is ready to come home. Until then, we are visiting about twice a day, interspersed with helping Katharine to recover from the c-section surgery. She is a trooper, and had been doing very well, with minimal pain medication, but she does have a hard time getting up and down stairs and gets worn out very easily.

Desmond is doing very well these days. After a second dose of surfactant, the chemical they used to treat his lungs, he really started doing much better. Today, he finally was allowed to come off of the supplemental oxygen, and he has also begun feeding through his mouth. Both of those things are significant milestones that need indicate he is getting much closer to breathing well in the real world as opposed to an incubator. An optimistic view of his homecoming is that he might be able to come home on Monday after finishing the 7 day course of precautionary antibiotics they have him on.

Now that we are home, we should be able to provide updates more often. Hopefully I can get Katharine to write a bit on the laptop. For now, I'm headed to bed for some much needed rest.

Oh, and I'm also going to post some information about all of the interesting and creative responses I got to our little weight and birth-time puzzle. Here's a teaser...
- Most obscure language: cold-fusion
- Most Simple solution to the weight: just look it up in a database of md5 hashes

Desmond update number 1

Here's the update email I sent out 2 days after Desmond's birth.

Hey Guys... here's the latest.

The initial take on Desmond's breathing difficulties turned out to not be entirely accurate. After about a day in the NICU, his need for supplemental oxygen began to increase where it should have decreased. This led the doctor's to believe that he has Respiratory Distress Syndrome. That basically means that his lungs are immature and are not able to absorb all of the oxygen that he needs.

Despite this being a setback, considering our initial impression of his condition, in actuality it means that only now are the doctors able to treat him correctly. They performed a small procedure to treat his lungs, and he showed instant improvement. So, for day 2, he has shown steady improvement. The treatment for Respiratory Distress Syndrome is straightforward and generally very successful. We have been told that his recovery should not be in doubt, only the amount of time it takes for him to get up to full strength. Even though we are very concerned for him, we have become convinced over the last 2 days that he is receiving excellent care by professionals who are both talented and compassionate.

Katharine is recovering well, and we should go home on Friday. We probably won't be able to take Desmond with us right away, but we are very grateful to live only 2 miles away from the hospital, so we can visit very easily. From here on out, to avoid spamming a lot of people, we will probably just post updates on our blog... http://oskrafts.blogspot.com/.

Thanks so much for all of the support. We feel very loved and cared for, and we feel that Desmond is coming into a world that, despite many challenges, will show him a lot of love as well. Please continue to pray for his full recovery.

Take care,
Peter

PS. On a lighter note, the little heart shaped shield that they use to cover up Desmond's groin area during his many chest x-rays is actually called "The Gonad Protector". For a minute, I thought the nurses were complementing my son when they were talking about protecting the gonads. Turns out, Gonad is a highly technical medical term, but I always thought it was just slang.

The Krafts have a baby

Here's the text of the email I sent out announcing the birth of our son. So far, there have been several people who were on the email bcc line that not receive it, so I apologize if you were expecting an email but have been in the dark until now.

Hey Everybody,

I am pleased to announce the birth of Desmond Knight Kraft. Desmond was born on Monday, September 8th, and weighed in at a veryrespectable weight. After 8 hours of induced labor without any progress, the doctor decided to go with a c-section. Katharine is definitely my hero... she was awesome from start to finish.

Unfortunately, Desmond is in the NICU right now. He was having a hard time breathing due to an excess of fluids in his lungs, so they are feeding him extra oxygen to help his lungs catch up. It's a minor concern, and we expect a quick recovery, but we would still appreciate your prayers for this situation.

We are very grateful for everyone's encouragement, advice, and prayer. Of course, this is only the beginning of a crazy new adventure, and we hope that everyone of you can get to know little Desmond soon. His life will surely be richer if he has the opportunity to know you.

We are at Inova Fairfax Hospital and would be happy to receive visitors if you can spare a minute to stop by. I'll also be sending out an update when we (hopefully) find out that Desmond is 100%. For future updates, you can visit: http://oskrafts.blogspot.com/.

Take care,
Peter

--------------------------------------------------------------

Baby's Birth Weight = X pounds, Y ounces
Baby's Birth Time = HH:MM:SS

MD5sum(X) = 8f14e45fceea167a5a36dedd4bea2543
MD5sum(Y) = 6512bd43d9caa6e02c990b0a82652dca
MD5sum(HH:MM:SS) = 47350265dd94444790732a97466c1389
All values in ASCII, no whitespace included.

If you feel like it, email me the the true values of X and Y for a prize. Email me the correct value of HH:MM:SS for the big one. The first correct answer gets bragging rights. If you include code/commands, the shortest implementation gets cool points (these tend to be worth a lot in our household).

If you have no idea what any of this means, sorry... check the blog in a few days if you are curious.

The Facts of Life

It's good I've been reflecting on the "big picture" because we found out on Friday that my induction date has moved up a week! The current plan is to induce labor on Monday, September 8th (my mom's birthday!). We're taking this week to relax and have fun as much as possible before we enter the temporary tunnel of chaos that comes with being new parents.

In the meantime, I'm still reflecting on my last few days of being pregnant....

Did any of you watch the TV show "The Facts of Life" in the 80's? Remember the theme song?

"You take the good,
You take the bad,
You take them both and there you have the facts of life.
The facts of life."

This is true for pregnant life as well.

I try not to get touchy when people say careless things to me while I've been pregnant. I give the benefit of the doubt that certain things are said with the best of intentions, but sometimes I think, "Come on people, use your brains!" These are just a few things people have actually said to me in the past month or so.

• "You're still here!?" - at 32 weeks from a co-worker who doesn't even know me well

• "Wow, you're still finding clothes that fit you!" - at 35 weeks from a dude at work

• "Should you be eating that?" - in response to my eating many different things from dark chocolate to rum cake.
  

But there are also perks of being in your third trimester.

• People acknowledge your existence. In the DC area people tend to keep to themselves. I'm not sure if it's because we're all wrapped up in our own lives/problems or if people were raised that way or if it's just peer pressure. In any case, when you're pregnant people look you in the eye, say hello, and even offer an unsolicited smile! It's a great way to feel connected to the human race.

• I am almost always offered a seat on the Metro! You may remember an earlier post about my surprise when Metro riders didn't offer me, a pregnant lady, a seat. That no longer happens.

• Random offers of help. Random strangers now offer to carry groceries for me, take packages out to my car, let me go in front of them in long shopping lines, etc.

Just like anything in life, I'm taking the good and the bad and that's a fact of life!

The Big Picture

When I did Project WILD in college (a 2-week minimalist backpacking trip in the Blue Ridge Mountains), someone gave me this advice: "Look up! When hiking, don't focus on your next step to the point where you forget to look up and see the beautiful nature all around you." It's a life reminder that I've needed lately.

You see, I'm not a detail-oriented person. I have to work at overcome this shortcoming. I make lists. I double and triple check my SQL and SAS code to make sure I didn't exchange a greater-than sign for a less-than sign. I try to be disciplined in re-reading emails before sending them to catch grammar/spelling errors. Did I say lists? Lots of lists... It seems like life runs by the details. If the details are left undone, the big picture plan can't be accomplished.

I understand details are important, but oh how I love the big picture! It's what motivates me, drives me and most importantly inspires me in life. I relish how all the pieces fit together in the overall scheme of things. If I don't keep a balance of details vs. the big picture in my life, things don't run smoothly.

This week I realized I need to remember the big picture of my life right now. There have been a lot of details to care for in preparing for the baby. I've become so caught up in how to best organize all the baby stuff we've so gratefully received, how to launder cloth diapers, how to best manage my ever-decreasing energy to maximize my productivity, etc. that I've forgotten to marvel at the beautiful big picture that we're having a baby! That our lives will be forever changed and, while painful at times, this change will be deeply satisfying. That the we will learn about ourselves and our Creator through the joys and sacrifices of parenthood.

If I don't get a chance to re-read the key sections of the baby books or if I don't have the baby's room organized - it won't matter! Our baby will still be an amazing gift from God. He will still come home to parents who love and care for him. The miraculous mystery of life will still have taken place.

Since when is this "routine"?!

This morning as I worked at my desk, I realized the baby had been kicking a lot and I hadn't even really been paying attention!! If you had told me that two months ago, there's no way I would have believed it. I guess you can get used to almost anything.

By the way, congratulations to my friends Mike and Lisa Law. They had their second child, Jonathon Michael Law on Sunday. Another playmate for my son and me!

Charlie - the other man

Some of you may be shocked to hear that I have another man in my life. No, it's not my unborn son (yet!)...it's my 1992 Subaru Loyale named Charlie. I've been driving Charlie since 1997. He was my first (and only) car, lovingly given to me by my dad.

Peter changing Charlie's spark plugs

Since I now take public transportation to work, I don't drive much. However, this weekend I spent several hours driving around the DC area. The time in my car I was reflecting on how much I appreciate Charlie and how I hope he lasts for years to come.

Why do I love my beat-up, 16 year old car? Since you asked....

• Visibility. My blind spots in this car are few and far between. Good visibility will be high on my list if we ever have to replace Charlie. Trust me, a pregnant lady really appreciates not having to twist her torso in order to see traffic behind her.
• Great A/C. I don't know how he does it, but my little car's air conditioning is even better than the A/C on our 2005 Subaru. I guess they just don't make 'em like they used to.
• Reliable. Yes, Subaru's are reliable in general (another important quality in a car), but Charlie goes above and beyond. In 11 years I've only broken down on the side of the road once.
• Durable interior. Thanks to Armor All, the interior still looks pretty good. (I love Armor All...to the point where I use it as a verb. "Peter, have we armoralled the cars lately?")
• Takes curves at speeds most cars can only dream of. Subaru + Mountain Girl. Need I say more?
• Doesn't go much faster than 60. Some people might see this as a detriment, however, if you can't go over 60 without the car shaking a bit, it actually makes driving more relaxing. You're not constantly evaluating if you should pass the car in front of you or change lanes, etc.
  

Lest you think I'm totally biased (instead of partially biased!), Charlie has at least two shortcomings.

• He leaks oil. I think all older Subaru's are fated to this state. At least all the old Subaru's our family has ever owned.
• No cup-holder. Oh I live for the day to have a sturdy, stable cup-holder built into my car! I tried the attachable ones, but it's just not the same. Charlie's successor will definitely have a cup-holder.
  

So, let's all raise a glass to Charlie's health. May he live long(er) and prosper!

Life and Death

The past week has been full of celebrating life and death for our family.

Peter's grandmother, Babci, died last Monday. Deciding it was best not to make a long trip so late in my pregnancy, I stayed in VA. Thankfully Larry, Stephanie, Katie and Peter were able to converge on Long Island from various parts of the world to attend the funeral. Babci lived a beautiful life that touched so many people. During my short visits with her over the past 8 or 9 years, she taught me so much about being a loving wife, about rejecting self-pity and getting satisfaction from embracing life's challenges, about loving Jesus through the big and small choices we make in everyday life, and much, much more. I'm grateful for every second I was able to spend with her. Katie has written a beautiful reflection about Babci on her blog.

As for celebrating life, amazingly we still had a family baby shower for me on Saturday. Somehow our Long Island relatives summoned the strength to come down for the shower the day after Babci's funeral. So we celebrated Baby Kraft's pending arrival in the midst of Knights, Krafts, Entresses, Gronaws, Cleckners, Kolhenbergs, and Paredes's. People were incredibly generous in helping equip us for the little bundle of joy that's coming in mid-September. But more importantly, they showered us with love, prayer and support - reminding Peter and me that we won't walk the path of parenthood alone.

Extroverts

Lately I've hung out with some people I previously only knew at arm's length. Peter and I had a lot of fun getting to know these folks better. It has me reflecting on how special it is when we open up with other people and examine the complexities of life together.

I've enjoyed myself so much that it reminded me of what a strong extrovert I am. Extroverts can be characterized as people who get energy from being around other people; this definitely applies to me. For me, quantity is doesn't always win over quality. One hearty conversation where we grapple in trying to understand life, ourselves and each other is more satisfying to me than a dozen small-talk conversations.

It's so difficult to see the world through eyes other than our own. I'm delighted when people push me to consider an alternative view, position or experience. It doesn't have to result in changing my stance or opinion on an issue. In fact, sometimes the best encounters are ones that make me reflect on my beliefs and leave me holding them more strongly. The beauty is that they have been pushed, prodded, questioned and tested. It's not always comfortable, but it's a much more real way to live life.

All of this is to say that I'm grateful for my friends and family - both new and old - who spur me on to step outside of myself. Thank you!

Biding Our Time

I haven't written in a while because there's not much to report on. It's not that we haven't been doing things. I just have a lot of half-formed reflections and thoughts that aren't ready to make it onto the blog yet.

To keep ourselves busy we've been doing final baby research on stuff like cribs, cloth diapers, etc. Sometimes it amuses me how hard we're working to make informed decisions about baby products. I wonder how many opinions we'll revise once we have even a mere two days of experience under our belts.

Peter has been working hard on the basement. With me recovering from my cold and being very tired lately, he's been on his own pretty much. He's put up practically all the drywall (just two tiny and tricky pieces left) and about 90% of the ceiling is in place. We'll start looking into carpet soon. Hopefully Peter won't have to frame the doors and put up the baseboards before we get the carpet installed.

Between the basement and baby preparation, we are finding pockets of time to go out for a movie, grab a milkshake, toss the frisbee a bit, etc. Life is good.

Only six more weeks to go!